In order to minimise misunderstandings between the sexes I append a simple guide to men and their relationships to women    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.  2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!  3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.  4. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.  5. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.  6. Crying is blackmail.  7. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!  8. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.  9. Most men own three pairs of shoes - max. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 10. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 11. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 13. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 14. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 15. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.                                                                                                                                                                             

16. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 17. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 18. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 19. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. 20. Men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is. 21. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 22. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 23. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 24. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 25. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 26. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or monster trucks. 27. You have enough clothes. 28. You have too many shoes. 29. No NO you really do have too many shoes. 30. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. And no, it doesn't matter which quiz. I hope these simple points will be memorised by all female members                                                                                                                                                                             

Prof,if my history is right didn't Columbus discover America by accident? In other words he got lost. Delete it mate,your in for an ear bashing as it is so don't give them more ammunition. Then again i could be wrong.                                                                                                                                                                             

Not sure if accident is the right term Ric he was looking for a route to the Indies to grab some of the spice trade from the Arabs and Italians, it's just that he didn't know that the Americas were in the way.   Anyroad it's the fun way of navigating, I often find interesting places while heading vaguely for somewhere else.                                                                                                                                                                             

Ric, you have a very low opinion of us girlies                                                                                                                                                                              

awwwwwwww bless u prof, u've never been married, u;ve never had kids, u've goth that dreadful beard and ur on this site!

           you obviously don't want a woman... do u bat for the other side maybe?

haha prof - you're so dead! U do know that most of the active members here are women don't ya?   Death by woman beatings lol. I can see the future                                                                                                                                                                             

Don't have a low opinion DC,can just see some women taken it personal. Let the dummy spitting begin.                                                                                                                                                                              

women stray because they don't want their offspring to be sired by the same boring, egotistcal, narrowminded,self opinionated,BORING,bearded,chauvenist male,, OMG to whom am i referring i wonder? the species must continue free from rejects with no social skills and it is the female of the species who must ensure this

How will the species continue without the male i wonder?                                                                                                                                                                             

  To littlechick 'Relax dear, it's only a commercial'   To MCPs I love crackling. ha ha                                                                                                                                                                                 

Municipal Car Parks?                                                                                                                                                                              

ur right kwak, you can't compete with someone who has never lived! crackling tastes real good!                                                                                                                                                                              

  PML @ Municipal Car Parks Ric I meant Male Chauvinist Piggies, the clue was in the word 'crackling'                                                                                                                                                                                 

Really Kwak? I would never of known had you not pointed that out.                                                                                                                                                                              

*slap*                                                                                                                                                                               

I wont spit my dummy Ric...just re-write the rules                                                                                                                                                                              

Ain't that what politicians do?                                                                                                                                                                             

Touched a nerve somewhere Littlechick?   I would be intrigued to know what bits you would disagree with?   From the experience of one marriage and one long term relationship and yes both with women, a number of the items sound awfully familiar, I freely admit that I am terrible at remembering dates, lousy at picking up on hints, a terrible judge of shoes, have fairly poor colour sense, zero psychic ability and tend to answer questions honestly when perhaps I shouldn't.   On the plus side I do put the toilet seat down.   btw what has any of it got to do with women straying?                                                                                                                                                                             

but you got good dress sence tho,pinny,lid and nowt else