We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: (4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine.... (5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. (6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: (7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.  More routine.... (8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. (9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.  And most important of all: (10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cookingefforts. (11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....                                                                                                                                                                             

hey! is it bash men day or sommat? i hate bbq's fn burnt meat stink!plus accelerant taste !!! real men use petrol!!                                                                                                                                                                             

You can take it TM                                                                                                                                                                              

what yu sayin?                                                                                                                                                                             

So why do women put up with it?   p'haps a subtle "Up yours, Jack" or a simple "Get stuffed" might get the message across.   I do most of the cooking , as when the lady cooks there is definately an element of danger involved!                                                                                                                                                                             

thats cus sharp knives are often involved....                                                                                                                                                                             

Well said TM......I was wondering why all of a sudden we were getting sexist threads on here....MEN HAVE FEELINGS TO  and everyone has something to give to life nobody is useless.                                                                                                                                                                             

*shrugs*   Oh well.   It amused me and obviously my Dad too, as he was the one sent it me.   Sorry                                                                                                                                                                              

Scary / Wannabe   I found it funny   But there again, what do I know about humour?                                                                                                                                                                             

well I don't know what world you girls are living in, but all these topics recently don't reflect me, my relationships, or even those that I know.   E.g, when we have BBQs at my house, I do everything. I even make burgers (rather than buying them). I do all the prepping, cleaning up, etc.   Maybe times are changing?  :-)                                                                                                                                                                             

Ahh but some men can't cook won't cook lmao......   I was asked by my mates wife to take over their last BBQ as he was a little drunk, and he did not wait till the flames died down before cooking, (armadillos anyone?) crispy on the outside raw/still frozen on the inside......(they exchanged non pleasantries), plus his pyromaniac mate kept splashing bbq lighter fluid on the bbq, horrible after taste that!   I did manage to recover the food but was a bit too well done on outside for me lol.                                                                                                                                                                             

It was a piss-take, and a very funny one at that. I ROFL More please Wannabe (so long as u don't mind when boots on t'other foot!)                                                                                                                                                                             

No. I don't *do* offensive XY.   If folk are offended, I apologise and desist. It's simple.   Besides, I think you've ripped it out of me plenty enough to know that I can take it as well as dish it XY                                                                                                                                                                              

Moi????...rip it out of u....never! *sniffs*   (exits, stage left, offended)                                                                                                                                                                             

XY think you need to re-read a few of your erm whitty comebacks....................                                                                                                                                                                              

HR - I am well aware my sense of "humour" is not to everyone's taste. If enough peeps complain, I won't bother, just go.                                                                                                                                                                             

wasnt offended jus a few  jokes at men appeared at once as all!!!wasnt moanin alright!!tke the micheal as much as yu like cmon bring it on!!do youre worst wannabe man hater!![did that sound right!!]ah! man hater wannabe!!                                                                                                                                                                             

PAH.... I giggled!!   Apparently I'm in charge of any future barbecues we have, on the basis that it's "Man's work"......     My other half's cooking would put most fancy restaurants to shame, both on quality and creativity. She applied to Masterchef simply because she was bored, FFS!!!   By comparison, I am a soldier. I cook only when neccesary and if it's anything that doesn't just get stir-fried or whacked in the oven (no, I don't even have a microwave) for a few minutes, I'm sat following a recipie as closely as if it was DIY brain surgery... and still feck it up!!!   Seriously, I could burn cornflakes and salads..... Yet somehow I'm supposedly an expert at barbecues.     Being of an Equality mindset, I firmly believe Claire has every right to the barbecue. If she wants to learn, I shall have my South African friends teach her, so at least then she'll learn how to do it properly!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

BRAAI ROUND TTASKMASTERS!!!! I'll bring the boewors.....   (but NO venison...)                                                                                                                                                                             

Don't get me wrong XY - I wasn't expressing offence - just a statement that you often post mickey-taking responses... & let's face it, most of the time I'm already ripping into myself in any case.   It was just supposed to illustrate that I can indeed take it when the "boot's on the other foot"...   There's no need to leave a place if people complain about your humour... you just adjust your behaviour to an acceptable manner. e.g. I won't post any more sexist jokes on here.   I know you weren't moaning TM, but it obviously got up others' noses and I'm the last person in the world to voluntarily do that. I'll stick with the self-deprecating stuff... I don't offend myself