This was when milk was delivered in bottles, not that long ago. I had a bit of a session with a mate and we emptied a litre bottle of Whisky. Without realising it I put the empty whisky bottle out with the empty milk bottles with my usual note saying, "two pints each day until Friday please". Some time the next mrning I went to get the milk in and there was two pints and a note. The note said,"we only do milk in pints, if you want whisky it comes in 70cl bottles and I will have to order it in. Let me know what you want, piss head". I couldn.t stop laughing for a long time, despite the hangover. The milkman was another mate of mine, who new I would not be offended lol                                                                                                                                                                             

I am a plank because ....
I left the back door to my house wide open last night.
What a muppet!                                                                                                                                                                             

I'm a plank   yep                                                                                                                                                                               

On Sunday I was out on the bike, stopped for a brew and when I got back on the bike I shut the fuel tap off started the bike and rode off onto a dual carrageway. The bike spluttered to a stop after a 100 yards. Not thinking that when I stopped I had forgot to shut the tap off. What a plank!

Yep that beats me Mr Neale                                                                                                                                                                               

I just didn't realise how sticky Expanding Foam is ..... or just how 'expandy' Expanding Foam is

Yes - have a made a mess!

Wharra plank!                                                                                                                                                                             

A sticky plank                                                                                                                                                                              

Thick as two planks                                                                                                                                                                               

Oh ta for the support guys                                                                                                                                                                              

Mrs bjp1960 that was a bit ott.
                                                                                                                                                                             

Can you expand on that?                                                                                                                                                                             

THAT.....A pronoun or adjective                                                                                                                                                                             

I am a plank because I'm nailed by tax                                                                                                                                                                             

I am a plank because I didn't do my tax return.                                                                                                                                                                             

just tack it on to the next one                                                                                                                                                                             

Thats what I did twice and now I have to do 3.                                                                                                                                                                             

The Tax man is going to eat you Mr Neale                                                                                                                                                                               

i went to work this morning.. sat at me desk... manager asked me to do some bits... finally opened me emails... had one from work mate saying could i pass on apologies for a meeting coz they were on training today...   i then remembered i was meant to be on that training too  !!                                                                                                                                                                             

Mrs bjp1960 The tax man is more than chomping at the bit. He has eaten 1 1/2 arms and is halfway up my left leg. He/she said I had better sort it or I could be fined a minimum of £1600-00. So I, not really wanting to upset these really really nice tax people, have been at it for 36 hours out of the last 48. I get some relief by going on these word games etc. They will not for some reason accept that as an excuse, can't see the problem really. I am nearly there, or is that here.

Suz, what was the training day for? I hope it wasn't for how to remember things