I thought that it might be a good idea to post the things that have happened while out on your bike. So that it is not all a tale of woe, it would be good to hear The WORST, the BEST and the FUNNIEST. I will kick off with one:- I was on my way home from work on my CM125. I stopped at a junction and after about 5 to 10 seconds I got hit in the back. This wiped out my rear light, mudguard and number plate. On my way home I pass a bike shop, so I stopped to get the replacement parts. I parked my bike in a side road facing the wrong way, went in the shop and got the parts I needed. I thought brilliant, because normally they had to order in. When I returned to the bike there was a police car parked in front of my bike. Facing the right way head on to my bike. Not being a one to be breaking the law, or should I say "getting caught", I thought if I swerve out double quick past the police car I could go around the block and hopefully they would not notice the damage. Anyway I gave it half a handful, anticipating taking the quick swerve around the police car and to my surprise I did a 'U' turn. Because I anticipated going in a different direction I ended up in a heap on the road in front of the police car, number plate and rear light (that wasn't there) now facing the cops. Talk about feeling like a right DICK HEAD. But what did the police do? Absolutely nothing! I got the bike up ASAP "unlocked the steering, as you do, or should do appreciating the benefits of combined ignition and steering locks and got the hell out of there, with my tail between my legs. Anyway come on confess, what was your dickhead moment. Or give us your best or worst moments on your bike. Keep safe unlock your steering. I do now.                                                                                                                                                                             

When I got my first new 'big bike' I was out with some mates, and we pulled into the car park at the top of Sutton Bank. Egged on by them I was riding it around, feeling like the  queen bee and......... my mind went totally blank, couldn't remember how to brake, I whizzed passed them yelling 'it's running away with me' , before a big bush kindly leapt in front of me, allowing me to go a***e over tip and plant my head in it's bloody roots!!!
when they finished wetting their selves  and were able to stand up again, they hauled me out by the ankles.

Dignity -  trampled/squished/flattened
Bike - Intact
Entertainment value - Priceless
                                                                                                                                                                             

Nice one purplebetty.   There are times when you think " I was glad know one caught it on film" but then again it is funny after the event when you think about.   I am glad there was no physical injury.     David                                                                                                                                                                              

Ta David.
your story reminds me of a friendly incident I had with the nice policeman when learning to drive my car.
Was driving home from  playing squash with my cousin. Pulled up outside home. The nice PC pulled up alongside and asked if I was a learner driver.

'Yes' says I

'Thought so' says he!

'nuff said methinks!!!
                                                                                                                                                                             

P.s

I only had 6 driving lessons and passed first time - so I can't have been THAT bad...................... can I?
                                                                                                                                                                             

This was many years ago when I was a 21yr  ... but I can atleast tell this story without  .....ummm well lets just say I was a bit of a naughty boy when growing up ...
 I was going home from the pub on the quad bike that I had parked round the back of the local boozer . Now while in said pub I had made a fine job of pulling some young filly for further at home entertainment . So we went out jumped on the quad and orf we went . Wellllll as I came over the crest of the hill that exits the village and led out onto the moor that  we own I had the somewhat large suprise of about  5 police cars 3 fireengines and some ambulances all over the road together with 5 burning parked cars  . Now this is not to be expected in rural scotland and as I blasted past at full throttle and watched the cops running for their cars the following things raised alarms  in my brain ....  I am banned from driving for six months  . I am drunk , I am on a quad it is dark I have no intact lights that work , its not insured taxed or even registered  ,I think one of those cops is Alister the arsehole, what will I do with the girl?? as  now she is just ballast  ...o fuck ... Sooooo I gassed it back round the loop back towards the center of the village . Reached shops punched the brakes dumped the girl and told her A. run!!! B. you do not know my name or who I am . Saw the cops coming round the corner so gunned it for the golf course . Careered onto the first Tee and blasted up the fairway saw 2 cop cars follow on to the first Tee.  Could see the other one probably Alister the arsehole with local knowings heading round the course ring road . Only hope I have is I can make it across the course out the lane onto shears land then out into the moor . I am gunning this quad I have my hand down by the carb yanking the cable to overrev it and get more out it . I get to the other side of the course and blast up the lane, I see Ali The Arse making to block the end so I head into the trees and circumnavigate his road block however this parts me from my upper clothing items  and hurts like hell . I smash straight through shearers fence and head out on the moor as far as I can get then  dump the quad and walk the valleys and hills home . The next day I reported my quad stolen , and then later reported it unstolen when  yound Shearsie  "found it " then I spent the afternoon fence repairing and listening to how it was time I grew up lecture from an old Shearsie  ))

Nice one Katooom   I suppose it is just as well we mellow as we get older. I have a similar story, probably a bit tamer than yours. I will post later in this string. Lets get a few more in 1st.   Goog luck mate                                                                                                                                                                              

There must be someone else out there with a story to tell. Come on.                                                                                                                                                                             

 Mine isnt very exciting but......One day I was riding back from work and enjoying riding my little Yam SR125 (had been away from bikes for 10 years so just getting back to grips with handling a bike etc)....well there I was all happy smiley enjoying two wheels when I got stuck behind a large wagon.   I sat there pootling along and suddenly thought "its starting to rain"...but only on me!!! then....i noticed something else "this rain smells"....so I looked a bit closer at the wagon and saw it was a cattle wagon full of cows whos pee was "raining"n down and all over me!!!!   Well my little bike didnt know what hit her, as I opened up the throttle as far as she would go and at the next safe point rode passed the blooming wagon......I smelt lovely when I got home!!! NOT!!!!   Moral of story......if you seen a load of cows in a wagon get passed them dont be like me and sit there waiting for the shower                                                                                                                                                                              

 Nice one havelnut   Were you pi**ed off?                                                                                                                                                                             

There is folks who would activley seek out a golden rain shower ))                                                                                                                                                                              

 Yes I was p*****d off and if its your thing!!! good luck but the smell is rather off putting!!!! pee...rfume  no... phewww...rfume is more like it                                                                                                                                                                              

Do these people usually wear a hard hat and glasses?                                                                                                                                                                             

Nooo.... I am more of a tunneler )))                                                                                                                                                                              

Not particularly thrilling but my worst thing is this problem I have with 'The Birds'.  Its both a car and a bike thing.

In the car its either sparrows committing hare kiri by flying at an altitude of 2cm just as my front wheel arrives.  from inside the car there is a faint sound of 'B-Dump'  Sometimes its so frequent it synchronises with the bass drum beat of whatever's playing on the stereo.

The other one is pigeons flying at headlight altitude just as  my headlight arrives.  Result: spectacular pigeon death and replacement headlight required.  Bastards!

On the bike its usually pigeons.  Here comes Duncan doing 80mph ( or whatever).  Lets buzz his head for the next mile.  Scary bastards!

I had an incident with a duck ( that don't sound too good) I was riding across Wimbledon common in about 1967, not actually on the common, but on the road. A duck decided to swoop across my path, which coincided with my front wheel hitting the duck and it went under both wheels. Ducks are quite big birds, but when you ride over one it feels like an ostrich. I don't know how but I managed to keep on the bike. I stopped to get myself back together and check out the duck. I had no intentions of eating the bastard (not into road kill) I wanted to see if it was dead or otherwise. I looked everywhere but could not find it. That was some lucky duck, maybe!                                                                                                                                                                              

that reminds me of the isle of man, was doing about 80 two up, a cat appeared in front of me, I didnt even try and brake, slowed and went back, no sign of it! could not have missed it!                                                                                                                                                                             

bet it was a womble clearing up after you david. . . Duck a l'orange for tea that night                                                                                                                                                                             

At that time Wombles didn't occur to me. It was what you might call the "Pre-Womble period". However I am glad that you have pointed that out. Could it be that they existed earlier and that history will now have to be re-written!
                                                                                                                                                                             

It appears there are only a few of us who are not perfect. The rest of you people must be brilliant!
Ok due to lack of response I will tell you about another one of mine.
This was back in the old days when helmets were not compulsory (NO IT WASN’T DURING THE WAR).
I lived with my parents in a rural part of Kent. One warm summer evening my brother and I decided to go for a couple of beers and we took my bike. I was kitted out but my brother wasn’t. The pub we went to was down a series of narrow country lanes about the width of 1 ½ cars. We had a great night, didn’t drink too much but by today’s levels we were probably over the top (a bit). On the way back we had to negotiate a sharp right hand 90. Sole I would regularly take this at around 30mph which was pushing it. This night I forgot about my brother on the back and approached the bend at my normal speed. I banked the bike to the right but it didn’t want to go over as normal. This resulted in the bike hitting the bank at a slight angel, the wrong angel, the bike went up the bank and landed on top of me in the road. There was no moon that night only star light, so visibility was limited. Anyway I got the bike off of me and stood up and seemed to be unhurt but could not see my brother anywhere. I called out and I heard him shout out “I’m over here”, I called back “where” he shouted back “in the F***ing field. As we hit the bank he went head first through the hedge which unfortunately was full of thorns and a lot of other stuff. To get out he had to find the nearest break in the hedge. He looked OK and said he wasn’t hurt. At which point I said to him “ what the F**K happened there”. He replied “I didn’t want to go round that bend at that speed, so I leaned the other way” I came back with quite a few four letter words then set off for home. He chose to walk because he didn’t want to get back on the bike. I wanted to leave him there but brotherly love took over and I rode beside him. We got back to my parents house, walked into the kitchen, where my mother was standing. She took one look at my brother and went ape sh*t. I looked at him in the light and he was covered in scratches, blood running down his face and arms and new shirt torn, he looked a complete mess. He looked Ok after a clean up, well sort of.
That was in 1966 and occasionally we have both had a laugh talking about it. We were pretty young and could take a few knocks without too much injury. I wouldn’t say the same for me now!