I was just cleaning it and it went off.   or   Hang on where did all those Amy Winehouse fans come from.                                                                                                                                                                                   

"one fart too many"
or alternatively   "wheeled in then wheeled out"                                                                                                                                                                                

Due to always having to help my kids out financially, no matter how old they are, I don't think there will be enough funds to box me, plant me or burn me. Therefore my instructions to them will be to find an old cardboard box and drop me of at the local tip under general household waste. My will read: Everything I own will be shared between all of my spring after the Inland Revenue has taken their cut, which is everything. My headstone will read:- "I AM NOT REALLY DEAD, SO STOP TALKING TO THE GRAFIT ON THAT PIECE OF SHIT MDF. IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME TURN AROUND" Only joking                                                                                                                                                                              

Mine will say .. . I am dead I win.                                                                                                                                                                              

at my mums cremation, her coffin slid behind the curtains to the immortal sound of the nursery rhyme "ride a cock horse" - she wasnt a music fan, but loved her grandkids and was something we & they all remimbered her singing from our childhood - odd but appropriate!
as for me, probably  "she died laughing!!!" xx                                                                                                                                                                             

Mine will probably say... Lived it loved it rode the arse off it... Lol                                                                                                                                                                             

mizzi   Are talking about your bike?                                                                                                                                                                             

Oh god!!! LOL... erm yes...well I would if could commit to what I want to chuck my leg over-I'm a tad too fussy :-)

                                                                                                                                                                             

i want to be burnt and scattered in the wodds somewhere maybe in leeswood or a wood similar with the goblins

if i had a plack it waould say "well there u go beamed up at last"
                                                                                                                                                                             

I think this just about sums it up...   "Did everyone see that? Because I will *not* be doing it again"                                                                                                                                                                             

Here lies poor colour blind Rob who's dead,
he thought the lights were green when they were red                                                                                                                                                                             

Late Again!                                                                                                                                                                             

Dawny - had lots of fun on the way and her last words were - Like a bat out of hell I'll be gone when the morning comes!  

and buried in my leathers so I'm all set for the journey ahead when my ride comes along - oh yeah! 

                                                                                                                                                                             

If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world!!!!!!