STRESS MANAGEMENT=================Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called the world. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water. There now.......feeling better?                                                                                                                                                                              

A man walks into a health food restaurant after a day at the office, sits down and orders a nice big dish of brown rice and stir-fry veggies. He grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter by the cash register while he's waiting for his order, and as he starts to chew he hears a voice say, 'That's a beautiful tie, is that silk? Very NICE choice!' Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could've been speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth. Next he hears a voice, 'Those shoes are stylin', my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!' He whirls around again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool. A little wierded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts. This time the voice continues with, 'That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!' He immediately calls the waiter over and says, 'Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look! Am I GOING CRAZY?? 'Oh', the waiter nonchalantly replies, 'those are just the peanuts'. 'The PEANUTS?!?' the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him . 'Yes,' replies the waiter, 'they're complimentary!!                                                                                                                                                                             

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance & see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: 1) you have to be single and2) you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!" The nun says, "O.K., pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fullfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying his eyes out. "My dear child, why are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."                                                                                                                                                                             

big lol for those di errrrr where can i buy some of those peanuts ??????????     a little fact here too never eat the peanuts in bars do you know that when tested they were found to have on them at least fourty different urine samples !!!!!! just shows not everyone washes their hands after peeing !!!!!!!!!! and all those dribbles transfere to whatever they touch afterwards, an dont get me started on buffet food !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     also if you flush the chain without putting the toilet seat down millions of germs are sprayed through moisture and collect on things like towels and toothbrushes and then you brush ya teeth and wipe ya face !!!!!!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                   

 blah                                                                                                                                                                             

Storm   You have such a way with words. Think you've put me off Chinese buffet for life!                                                                                                                                                                             

I feel a bleaching spell coming on                                                                                                                                                                              

I just feel sick again                                                                                                                                                                             

hey paul enjoy ya buffet mate at least you may be getting more than you've paid for.........and thats rare these days, tuck in and just hope the head chef and the sous one have washed their hands before preperation oh and that the lav isnt just off the kitchen and they dont leave the door open when flushing !!!!!!!!!!!   happy dining !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

i am mega stressed.............tried gym, swimming, chocolate, alcohol, night clubs, ......felt better after all of these but never lasts longer than 30mins......help, getting knackered..lol                                                                                                                                                                             

I've found weight training usually helps. How about just chatting with one of your friends? Talking of which, after training tonight, I am out in High Wycombe with some of my mates tonight. Have a few ales, a few laughs, and stress is gone.   Ciao Paul                                                                                                                                                                             

Its not just buffet food & urine,bowling balls have been found to contain,Bogeys lol,Urine & worst of all , feaces. Think I might buy me own bowling ball                                                                                                                                                                              

offs. think i'll just stay at home and go nowhere now.                                                                                                                                                                             

Seriously contemplating latex gloves as a must have fashion accessory.                                                                                                                                                                             

Had a great night out with the girlies....dancing, drinking,......feeling relaxed today..could possible tiredness and hangover tho..                                                                                                                                                                             

sundays are meant 4 relaxing,even i attempt it sometimes,which aint easy wiv 4 rugrats,but i try!!                                                                                                                                                                             

lol oggy wen bowling saturday wiv rc and bwb, took some hand gel that kills the little swines with me !!!!!!  lol i must have known or im just a bit too cautious                                                                                                                                                                                 

had a stress 2day!! got my sis to dye my hair purple yest,but didnt have enuf dye 4 even coverage so had to nip to shop 2day only to find shelf empty of that particular colour!!! luckily,the lovely assistant found me a box,so 2moro my sis is completing the purple transformation!!!

purple people eater                                                                                                                                                                              

Why would you want to put purple in your hair? Surely you're not contemplating joining the blue rinse brigade? lol