Confidence crisis

28 Posts | Latest reply on 26/04/2009 20:26:27 by darkcarnival | Go to original / last post
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darkcarnival

In: Blackburn
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I posted this on another forum i frequent, but i thought i'd put it up on here, see if anyone can offer any different advice....   Now I know you'll all take the merciless piss, but I need some help. This could get quite lengthy, so bear with me. I passed my test in Sept 07, already had my bike and was looking forward to getting out and about and really learning to ride. I had a couple of longish rideouts with my dad(the best person in the world to ride out with when yr learning) and made a few fundamental mistakes, but nothing serious. Once the weather turned in October, didnt ride again until April(ish). Went for a long rideout with a mate and his brother and nigh on killed mi'sen. Made the stupid mistake of trying to keep up and frightened myself to death. Went for a pootle by myself a few days later to try and regain some confidence, and sort of achieved it, although was very wary of bends. Then moved house/job in may and june and didnt really get time to get out much. Went for a rideout to Elvington with some fast lads from another forum i frequent, riding on roads that i knew and was doing ok, when on a road i thought i knew like the back of my hand, someone had snuck a roundabout in when i wasnt looking. How i got round it i dont know, but i did, on pure luck. That knocked me for six, and although i knew my bike was more than capable, i wasnt. Didnt ride much after that, unless i was with my dad and then it was autumn again.Went to a rally down south in Sept, first time loaded up and was the weekend of the flooding/torrential rain. Made it all the way to Newbury, without any mishaps whatsoever and gained a lot of confidence back. Thats the history out of the way...........Now, over winter i've only had a few short runs out, just to keep the bike ticking over, and started properly going out again in March. Felt great, loads of confidence, overtaking stuff willy nilly, not worrying about bends too much, and generally enjoying it. But, over the last 4 weeks i've felt myself getting worse and worse. I havent felt a lack of confidence as such, i just knew i was riding badly. One occasion, i got 15 miles down the road, then turned round and came home, i was so bad. I went out last saturday to Devils Bridge and had a really good time, albeit it was a fairly sedate ride and on sunday, did a memorial ride from Settle to Burnley. Although i'd never ridden with so many people, i thought i handled it really well. After that, a group of us went for a ride to Masham via Hawes(over the moors). The lads left me for dead, but i knew they would wait at any junctions for me. I felt a bit pressurised but not overly so....I hated every single minute of it. I had a permanent burning sensation between my shoulder blades and once at Masham, i really did not want to ride home again. Went to Rivi Barn on thursday and then from there to Southport with someone who let me go at my own pace, but again, didnt enjoy it and my back burned the entire time. I just cannot work out what i'm doing wrong. I dont seem able to negotiate bends cleanly at all(whereas before, although i was slow, i was smooth) and I dont think its anything to do with the bike. Its been playing on my mind for a while now, to the point where i dont want to go anywhere i've never been before or ride with anyone else.Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Embarrassed                                                                                                                                                                             
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Wills

In: New Brighton
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As a quick first thought, do you know or know of any sympathetic advanced instructors who could take you out for an afternoon?                                                                                                                                                                             
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Sandi

In: Huddersfield, W
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  D C I was going to say could it be the bike, perhaps a different style of bike may be better for you, but you say it's not that.    Is it that your lack of confidence stems from the recent changes in your private life, new home new job? Maybe all you need is to take it at your pace and not try to keep up with anyone, I know that takes confidence in itself but a more enjoyable ride is to be had that way.   This may sound mad but maybe a bike is not for you, maybe that's all it is or maybe you just need to ride more often to get used to riding.   Whatever it takes I hope you sort it out and start to enjoy riding again.                                                                                                                                                                                  
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darkcarnival

In: Blackburn
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A good friend of mine is a traffic cop/police biker and he is going to take me out and give me some pointers, but he's temporarily on a different shift for 3 months, so in the meantime, i need something to try before i give up...cos that how i feel at the moment...although i know in my heart of hearts thats not what i want to do. Thumbs Down                                                                                                                                                                             
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Deleted Member

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DC, dont know if my comments will help but it seems that you may be to tense, maybe originally by keeping pace with other riders, its happened to me as well and we all do it.... The main thing is comfort, enjoyment....it seems you are already confident or you would not have got on a bike in the first place.. go out as often as you can even if short journeys and everything will fall into place.... Ive been on rides where if i am not comfortable I go home exhausted and I dont think not knowing the roads makes a difference, normally the unknown is more enjoyable.. easy for me to say but just get yourself out girl and enjoy your bike and the friendships that develop through it... Go for itThumbs Up never give up!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                               
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Worry + pressure = stress....leading to lack of confidence. I would go for a long solo ride, with lots of breaks. Give yourself plenty of time. Try to relax. Also, check tyre pressures - can cause bike to wallow on the bends, and make u think yr doing it all wrong. Hug                                                                                                                                                                             
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bikerchick1966

In: Derby
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I lost my confidence like that about driving..I ended up seeing a hypnotherapist...and it was something really simple and silly that was holding me back..a couple of confidence boosting sessions and I was back to normal ( if you can call me normal!!!) So if all fails, give it a go!   Im sure you will be back to fine fettle sooner rather than later....take care Rose                                                                                                                                                                              
Phil's Profile
Phil

In: Liverpool
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Hey DC,   Your only down the road from me. I don't mind going for a run with you. You lead and I'll follow at a safe distance at YOUR speed. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I am not a fast rider or someone who makes stupid manoeuvres. I can even fit my camera to my bike and record your ride so you can see that you are doing on the corners.   The start of my riding career was very similar to yours. This is why i don't ride in big groups because there are always nobbers who race ahead without any consideration for anyone else who can't keep up.     I work the other way round. if you go for a ride as a group then you run at the speed of the slowest rider. If the group is fairly large then spread out as long as you keep the lights of the bike behind in your mirrors.   Bottom Line is you need to find / develop your own riding style in your own time. don't give up and don't ever be tempted to try and keep up with someone.    Enjoy the ride not the speed.                                                                                                                                                                               
darkcarnival's Profile
darkcarnival

In: Blackburn
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I dont want to give up, but am just sooo frustrated at the moment i could cry. I know i can ride the bloody thing, i just cant seem to do it at more than 40mph on a twisty road. In a straight line i can do do silly speeds and thoroughly enjoy it, but as soon as someone mentions going cross country, I want to go home. I'm going to go for a few solo rides to try and build some confidence, past that, i dont know what else to do Confused My dream was to do novice track day this year, but that is not going to happen....it feels like it will never happen Cry                                                                                                                                                                             
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geoffb2005

In: Leeds
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Burning between the shoulder blades is, as CW has suggested, a classic sign that you're tense whilst on the bike.   The more tense you are, the more poorly the bike will act.  It needs to be able to deal with small bumps and imperfections in the steering itself, which it will perfectly well ... if you're relaxed.  A bike needs to be able to move around underneath you a little, but if you're tense it won't be able to do that and it will feel like it's handling badly.   You need to try slowing down, going out for a few rides on your own and do your best to stay as relaxed as you can, even if that means stopping every twenty minutes or so for a stretch.   Drink plenty of fluids to try and avoid any cramps, loosen your grip on the bars slightly and keep your elbows slightly bent.  Try moving your position on the seat a little forwards and then a little back to see if anything feels better.   Once you've done this, you then need to force yourself to look as far up the road as possible.  In the bends themselves, keep looking as far around the bend as you can and try dropping your inside shoulder slightly.   But most of all ... stay relaxed.  Once you've been able to do this, you'll find that the pace will come back on its own.                                                                                                                                                                             
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Phil

In: Liverpool
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It is all just a matter of time. I am deaf in one ear. as a result i can't go fast round corners because my body feels like it is falling. I have had to amend my riding style to suit my abilities.   I came a cropper on a bend on a motorway slip road resulting in me going for a long slide. I got back on the bike took corners very slowly and after that but vowed I would continue to ride.   I am still slow on corners but getting there slowly at my pace and enjoying the ride. Speak to Fraglette as she live over the Grane from you. It is a 50mph road with some nice bends on it. Nothing scary but nothing Janet and john either.                                                                                                                                                                              
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darkcarnival

In: Blackburn
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I'm off work for a week from wednesday, so weather permitting i'm gonna go to Devils Bridge on my own...one of my favourite roads and see if anything improves. I can but try....hopefully the penny will drop and i'll get there and back without 'the burn'                                                                                                                                                                             
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Karey

In: Barnsley
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Hey Steph, Im surprised to hear you talking like this, from what I've heard and seen, you are a good rider and have indeed taught me a thing or two, which has been passed on thro you teaching Nina. I don't have nowhere near enough experience to bet able to tell you what you need to be doing, but I can say that the general advice seems to be 'to get out there on your own and practice at your own pace'     Many people have said that to me, and I must admit the thought of going out on my own at the moment frightens me.  But you've passed your test..your examiner or instructor wouldn't have told u to ride like a banshee or keep up wiv the fast riders, I'm sure.   Just try to go back to you learning days, and the days out with your dad, and ride at a pace u feel comfortable with.   The tyre pressures and the position you ride may well have an effect on you.   What is making you tense about corners?  think about it, and if its the speed, slow down, even to a snails pace if thats what you feel comfortable with.   I frighten myself sometimes approaching roundabouts, i pray theres nothing approaching from the right, so i can pull straight out, but if there is something, I just think im gonna stall it ..and then struggle with getting it into gear agen..   its all silly stuff.. but not when its happening to yourself...   You're bound to be tense, if you're not comfortable and that can/will affect your riding.   Please get out there and enjoy yourself, remember how good you feel when you've had a 'damn good rideout' !!  Thumbs Up                                                                                                                                                                             
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Wills

In: New Brighton
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Shows how much we think of you that 13 posts in and no-one's taken that merciless piss you were talking about.
I'd certainly check the tyre pressures. Obviously if they're right down then the bike will tell you, but if they're a bit off you may not notice other then by feeling that you're not enjoying themselves. Check the pressures against the tyre makers website, too, as they're often quite a bit higher that the riders handbook says, and that can make a difference.
darkcarnival's Profile
darkcarnival

In: Blackburn
Posts: 1648
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Thank you all for your advice, even yours Kaz, it all helps. I'm gonna go out on weds if the weather is dry and just pootle to DB - no pressure whatsoever. Then i'll go out again and if everything ok the first time, maybe push it a bit and see what happens....I know Rome wasnt built in a day, its just frustrating when its half built and you have to start from scratch again Unhappy   I'm gonna go to bed now and dream of taking on McGuinness in the Seniors lol                                                                                                                                                                             
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micksaway

In: Weymouth
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Come on DC you can handle a bloody big horse that would scare the Crap out off most warm blooded humans. Take it at your own pace. I feel it when I come back after a long job having to start the learning process again. Ride with people who will support you and build your confidence. You know you can do it you just have to get it into your head again. Good Luck stick at it                                                                                                                                                                             
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Roachy

In: West Yorks
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I'm not in a position to advise you DC really, only offer support.   Being tense is something I'm struggling with and it's affecting my comfort, therefore my enjoyment at times.   I agree with the tyre pressure advice, in the first week of having my CBR I went for an evening ride around town and I hated it, the bike was all over the place, I even experienced a mini tank slapper! - turned out the pressures were down about 10psi.   I'd be more than happy to go for a ride out with you sometime - I can't advise on your riding but I am a newbie on a bigger bike and understand the confidence issues.   I have every confidence that your confidence will come back. xx                                                                                                                                                                             
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Deleted Member

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Don't think theres anything i could say to help you Steph but you do have my moral supportHug. Maybe you should come for a ride out with me,never any pressure to keep up with BabyLOL                                                                                                                                                                             
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Cruiser gal

In: Tamworth
Posts: 2011
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DC me and you have both put a very similar post on BM so I can understand where your coming from I was just like that on my ride home from the Matlock meet, I even pulled over and had a few tears. I remember saying to you at the Quat meet how well you were riding when I was following you so stop beating yourself up and never feel pressured to ride at anyone else's pace even when your out in a group, riding and keeping yourself safe is all about riding your OWN ride not someone else's.   I could have for all the world just left my bike at the roadside last weekend but after all the support from Blues and of everyone on here I will now be test riding a bike Sunday morning then riding my bike in a big group St Georges Parade in the evening.   I am sure the pain you are getting is from being tense while riding as I often get that. I was once told that at times I ride as if I still have the coat hanger in my jacket so now I ride along saying to myself "take the coat hanger out the back of my jacket" and then I feel my shoulders relax.   Dipsis we like so many others on here have both come a long way and now is not the time to be giving up what biking has bought to our lives.   I am sure in a former life I must have been a priest writing a sermon like this (oh well am I excused as it's Sunday)                                                                                                                                                                             
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Holmfirthgirl

In: Larkfield
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Steph - can only agree with what everyone has said on here & wont repeat what they have said - but it does sound like you;re suffering a bit of stress - maybe go have a massage or 2 to chill you out a bit. It may sound daft, but a massage also helps your mind aswell as your body. As for track days - personally I would say go on one - obviously I haven't been on one, but I would suspect that it would build up your confidence more as you're not having to worry about traffic coming the other way & from what I understand you can learn a hell of a lot from them..Hug xx                                                                                                                                                                             


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