Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After   several weeks , he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant,   and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try   artificial insemination.     The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not   wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know   when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop   standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when   they are pregnant.     The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion   that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.   So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods,   has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.     Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they   are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't   take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to   the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back,  and goes to bed exhausted. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.   Try again.' he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive   them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon   returning home, falls knackered into bed.     The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look   out of the window.. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep   are lying in the grass.   'No,' she says, 'they're all in the Land Rover…….. >>>>>>> and one of them is beeping the horn.'                                                                                                                                                                                 

I must admit, when I saw this thread, I thought it must be from/ about SP.   But, hats off to TM, this is the funniest post ever! LMAO                                                                                                                                                                             

brill tm                                                                                                                                                                             

nice one                                                                                                                                                                             

If you are going to do a sheep, always do it with the sheep facing over a cliff edge, then it backs into you.

Who needs wellies when there's sticky back velcro.

On the inside of the knees of course.                                                                                                                                                                             

u seem to know way too much vinnie                                                                                                                                                                             

I agree with you there CC ,are you talking from experince Vinnie? New topic for forum maybe ?                                                                                                                                                                               

Nice one TM,,   and XK i knew you would come up with something..   Vinnie, you do need wellies, it's to stop them from running away.                                                                                                                                                                               

Hey SP, long time no see - must get together sometime - maybe Matlock? And bring luvly pony.                                                                                                                                                                             

Busy selling my house at the mo..  As soon as Pony and i get the time off,  you'll be seeing us again..  Take care my friend.                                                                                                                                                                             

Naahhh. Not talking from experience, just smarter than your average bear and can see the commercial possibilities of marketing velcro to sheep shaggers.

Just call me Harold.

My work here is done.                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                

nice piccy's chunki an Harley G                                                                                                                                                                             

awe thanks tm