VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---      How do you turn a fox into an elephant?      Marry It!      What is the difference between a battery and a woman?      A battery has a positive side.      What are the three fastest means of communication?      1) Television      2) Telephone      3) Telawoman      How are fat girls and mopeds alike?      They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.      What should you give a woman who has everything?      A man to show her how to work it.      Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a      waist?      Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.      How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?      Put a nipple on it.      Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?      Because they don't have balls to scratch.      Why did God create woman ?      To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.      Why do women fake orgasms ?      Because they think men care.      If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what      have you done wrong?      Made her chain too long      How many men does it take to open a beer?      None. It should be opened when she brings it.      Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?      Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will      probably never be able to support you.      Why do women have smaller feet than men?      It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand      closer      to the kitchen sink.      How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?      When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'      How do you fix a woman's watch?      You don't. There is a clock on the oven.      Why do men pass gas more than women?      Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required      pressure.      If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling      at the front door, who do you let in first?      The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.      What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?      A woman who won't do what she's told      I married a Miss Right.      I just didn't know her first name was Always.      Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex      drive by 90%..      It's called a Wedding Cake.      Why do men die before their wives?      They want to.      Women will never be equal to men..      until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer      gut, and still think they are sexy.      Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few      women who can handle the bullshit!                                                                                                                                                                             

There are some crackers there Mick! 

Stop making me laugh you lot!
                                                                                                                                                                             

Must be something in the Weymouth water?   You're a very, VERY brave man micksaway!                                                                                                                                                                             

nice one mick!......lol @ the womans watch one!.....you are indeed a brave man:o)......will watch this thread with interest for a while geez!lol.....................                                                                                                                                                                             

Hope to get away to work and it will all be forgotten by time I get back                                                                                                                                                                             

don't hold yer breath geez!.............                                                                                                                                                                             

Hmmmmmmmm  its been noted mr MA !!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                

  PML                                                                                                                                                                               

hmmmmm                                                                                                                                                                              

co op do a nice send off for a reasonable price mick,wot music do yu want played?                                                                                                                                                                             

Cracking jokes, love em!!                                                                                                                                                                               

lol @ TM!.............   reckon yer gettin off lightly (up to now) mick!:o)                                                                                                                                                                             

you're VERY brave Mick - especially on this forum where the women are in control.  lol                                                                                                                                                                             

Heed the words of our Leader ( only by name )                                                                                                                                                                              

Well, any person can tell..., when they look around at men in general, that god never intended women to be very particular                                                                                                                                                                              

Methinks the reverse is equally true Littlechick... when you see those delightful laydees wearing crop tops *shudders*

Do they see an 18 year old size 8 body when they look in the mirror before they go out? Or do they think it's acceptable dress for a 40-something size 20 body?!

                                                                                                                                                                             

That's when you need the:

MYSTERY BUS.
      The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
   Toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
   The pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.



                                                                                                                                                                             

ulrika johnson was rushed out of the big brother house last night after sitting on mobile phone wasn"t a big problem though it was not the firsttime shes had erricson up her arse                                                                                                                                                                             

im going to rob a bank tomorrow,dressing as a clown,wearing a thong+nipple tassles,ill be carrying a goat with a dildo up arse and a tin of dulux,in the bank the goatsgonna suck me off n ill throw the paint over the wallswhilst shouting the words big fat pissflaps,once i get the cash ill shit on the floor and escape in a pink van shaped like a cock........ lets see crimewatch stage a reconstruction of that f....r.

why do women wear knickers.....health and safety at work states all manholes must be covered when not in use