Wannabe
Any green-fingered BM members out there?
Fancy joining me in a discussion with handy hints for the garden?
I'll kick off with 2 top tips:
(1) Attempt to mow the lawn more than once every 3 months.
(2) Do not reverse over the cable.
*cough*
Ah well... I have a patch of mowed lawn just big enough for a sunlounger and a G&T... It'll do ;o)
Wannabe
*tuts*
Paragraph breaks worked in preview... Hmmmm.. I've broken it again... Sorry! ;o)
Deleted Member
Petrol,lighter & big bucket of water.
Deleted Member
Twice.
Wannabe
You yodelling again? It's awful echoey in here ;o)
eddietheardvark
soak it in vodka!!!! it'll always come up half cut
TeeCee
Anyone made the joke about trimming Wannabe's bush yet?
*sigh*
Wannabe topiary... must be a poem in there somewhere, eddy!
tangoman60
guess yu'd be good at it after shearin all them sheep!oh! it werent shearin was it!!!sorry!
Deleted Member
Get someone else to do your garden while you watch them. Always the best way to do gardening.
TeeCee
I ain't shearin' nuffin!!!! They are ALL mine!!!
I am sure Wannabe has serfs to do her labouring anyway (Lady Chatterley stylee) - she just wants to sound like one of us commoners....
darkcarnival
Get a garden like mine......all concrete...perfick!
Wannabe
One had to dispense with Mellors' services, don't you know?
One caught Mellors in flagrante delicto, as it were, with one of one's scullery maids.
One despairs... such loose morals, the youth of today!
Wills
If the scullery maid is out of a job as a result (and is not in trouble from her liaison with the aforesaid Mellors), can you send her up here? Assuming, of course, that your ladyship can provide suitable references...one has to be so careful with one's domestics these days.
Wannabe
Good grief man! Are you quite, quite mad?
One will not provide that, that.... that strumpet with a reference! There you are! One has said it! You have driven one to indelicate language, Sir! One apologises most sincerely and one shall pray for forgiveness.
tangoman60
may i offer my services i am discreet an will make sure i only enter via the tradesmans entrance!
Wannabe
Are you offering your services to Wills or to me, kind Sir?
Wills
By Jove, a scullery maid who can double up on strumpeting duties! Every home should have one, m'dear. *twirls moustache lasciviously*
Mr Tangoman, is the tradesman aware that you plan to enter him?
tangoman60
in the village marrow competition yes!
ttaskmaster
Crimony, toffs all a one, here!!
Art there a place for ruffians to call home no longer?
I'll warrant there is and I'll wager with my blade, yet first I give thee a chance to make good and fair an offer.....
tangoman60
down the rd at the drop in centre!!