Why did the scarecrow win an award at the film ceremonies... Because he was out-standing in his field....lol                                                                                                                                                                               

Flippin heck Skins they are getting worse!!! Have to get my girls joke books out -gotta to be better than those youre posting!                                                                                                                                                                             

how do you make a woman moan after sex ??                                               wipe your willie on her bed sheets                                                                                                                                                                             

A man says to his wife   "Guess what I heard in the pub.  They reckon the milkman has made love to  every woman in our street but one !"   The wife replies   "I bet its that stuck-up Phyllis at number 23 !"                                                                                                                                                                             

  Harley Davidson died and went to heaven, and was boasting to God how he'd created the best motorbike in the world!!   God disagreed, saying BMW's were a far better designed bike!! Harley said "What the F**k do you know about design?? You created woman and look at the problems we have with them!!"   "Ahem" said God, "I think you'll find that there are alot more men riding my f**king creation than yours!!!"                                                                                                                                                                                 

  Women eh!!?? Boob jobs, nose jobs, tummy tucks, colonic irrigation, botox, pierced ears, nipples, belly's and cl*ts. Eyebrows plucked, bikini lines, armpits, lips & legs waxed, and they won't take it up the a**e cos it HURTS!!!                                                                                                                                                                               

And one for the ladies....   Why do men have their best ideas during sex??   Because they're plugged in to a f**king genius!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Good one Flame!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Justthuoght id carry on from FR. a cucumber, a pickle & a p*nis were talking about their awful lives. the cucumber said when i get big fat & juicy they cut me up & toss me into a salad. The pickle said when i get big fat & juicy they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar. The p*nis said u think thats bad , when i get big fat & juicy they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark damp room bang my head against the wall untill i throw up & pass out.                                                                                                                                                                             

 Good one Kenn!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Heard that one before Kenn!! What about the other one you sent me, you must share that one here!                                                                                                                                                                             

I shall seek and find you, i shall take you to bed and control you, i will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan. i will make you beg for mercy. i will exhaust you to the piont that you will be relieved when i leave you, and leave, you will be weak for days. all my love the flu.                                                                                                                                                                             

18 only.   some girls beg some girls borrow, some girls lead and some girls follow, some bring joy and some bring sorrow, but all thebest girls suck then swallow.                                                                                                                                                                             

   I like em dirty, thats a classic!!                                                                                                                                                                             

o well more were that came from, but was not sure about the reception.                                                                                                                                                                             

cheeky Kenn as usual...loved them...                                                                                                                                                                             

Husband, say's "let try missionary position" Wife "ok how do we do that" Husband "i ll stay here you f***off to Africa                                                                                                                                                                             

Nice one Kenn, although after watching Long Way Down last night I think I'd rather be the one going to Africa.                                                                                                                                                                                

Hi BB yes your prob. right, would love just to take off n do some thing like that. o well dream on.