Nice one Suzy                                                                                                                                                                               

"do you mind not standing on my chest while you're reading the bloody headstone !"                                                                                                                                                                             

No headstone for me... 
I want to be cremated and i do not want anyone to be worry with my remains!!! ;)

I have already requested no headstone or any kind of marker; whatever friends do remember is what they remember and the rest is of no consequence... I would rather wish everything be said while i can still hear it!!!  

                                                                                                                                                                             

I have to say I've never really thought about a headstone as such... however recent family events have left me with the thought that I would rather go doing something rediculous with a big grin on my face and a sudden "oh f*********" at the end than any other way ;) I guess all I would like is to be cremated, my ashes scattered at Hardraw Falls in the dales, a tree planted with a bench under it and then for all of the guys and gals to have a big party to celebrate my life... guess I had better get saving!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Wow, how appropriate that you should be talking about this....

My dad died a while ago, and my mum, sister and I are all going to scatter his ashes next weekend. 

He wasn't a religious man and used to say 'You can leave me where I drop if you like'. He also liked the spike Milligan quote 'I told you I was Ill'

But we decided he might start to smell so we had him cremated and we're going to take him to where we used to go on holiday - Sandsend, Whitby and Staithes so he's probably going to end up in the sea somewhere around there 

I'm considering planting bluebells or snowdrops nearby, depending on where we decide.

As for me.... There's a poem by Christina Rossetti called Remember and I like the last 2 lines...

'Better by far you should forget (me) and smile 
Than that you should remember and be sad'                                                                                                                                                                              

"But we decided he might start to smell "

ha ha ha ha!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Changed my mind, I want my headstone to read;

Will you smile?
You'd think someone had died!                                                                                                                                                                              

I want to be cremated so nobody feels obliged to tend to my grave after i have gone.

But i have asked my son to do the following things :-

Play a voice over i have made whilst people are entering the church thingy

Nobody is to wear black

Play the theme to Countdown when the curtains close

Play Disco Inferno when they lower me

Have a massive party after the cremation

Once my ashes have been given to him, him and my nieces are to take me clubbing in a handbag and dance round me :)

(My niece asked the question - What if they check my handbag and think your drugs ??? .............. my reply - They'll have a shock if they try to snort me !!!

I was helping my best mate move & she was due to hand the keys over at 2pm. It was 2.30 and we were frantically still clearing out her office. "what should I do about me dad?" she said, holding what looked like a purple sweetie jar...he'd been under her desk for 8 years cos she couldn't think of the perfect place for his ashes
She was moving in temporarily with me, but I hadn't invited him   Quick as a flash we decided he would be very happy distributed among the chippings on the railway line behind her house...after all he worked all his life in an engine works & was a life long trainspotting anorak   In the rush to put the perfect plan into effect he got dropped on the stairs...the jar just jumped out of her arms and the lid flew off! Oh my god, granules, grit and dust everywhere!!! We scooped up what we could and put him back in the jar, bits went under nails and there was no alternative to hoovering the dusty mess that remained. We tried but the bloody dyson was full....he just wouldn't go up! We tried to empty the dust tank, bit was jammed! The two of us tugged and tugged but it wouldn't come apart. When it did it was with such force there was almighty cloud of just...OMG, some of him was inhaled!!   Eventually enough was back in the jar, so she went over the wall on to the railway line while I watched for on-coming trains. We like to think of him being wafted towards the Lakes on this lovely branch line, or southwards onto the West Coast main line, and hense up to Scotland or back to Manchester.....But I have to say he didn't seem keen to go   I didn't make this up...it really happened lol                                                                                                                                                                                   

Minx or Jinx?                                                                                                                                                                             

keep em coming guys these are brilliant,, minx thats awsome,, 

jackie the thought of your ashes being misstaken for coke is hilarious but very apropriate.whoever takes you to the club will have to watch you dont get made into "lines" pmsl xx                                                                                                                                                                              

wouldnt put it past my son to charge for me lol                                                                                                                                                                              

On my headstone apart from my name and my expiry date it'll say She lived!   Last November my kid sister died horribly and way too soon.   Her stone simply says I'm gone!   She entered the crematorium 3 days before Christmas to Freebird & left to Bat Out Of Hell.....she'd have enjoyed it!                                                                                                                                                                             

Well, after posting the video of shawy on the camping weekend thread I've given this some serious thought and my answer is.

"I said he wasn't safe with those sharp arrows"                                                                                                                                                                             

Mine'll just say

She came she made a mess she fukd off

Lol                                                                                                                                                                             

Mine will say:   "Here lies XK     Slapped to death"                                                                                                                                                                             

  LOL @ Slidy 'return to sender'   PML @ XK 'slapped to death'   and ROFLMHO @ Jackie my nieces are to take me clubbing in a handbag and dance round me :)   I'd like to be cremated, (when I'm dead, not before) and my ashes buried, not scattered, somewhere on Southsea Common, maybe under a nice shady tree. I doubt it will happen and as I'll be dead it won't matter.                                                                                                                                                                               

hahahah                                                                                                                                                                             

i did it on the bike                                                                                                                                                                               

I not sure yet what I want but i do know I wanna be buried an wiv a kentish ragsone headstone that will slowly become unreadable an annoy the hell outa anyone trying to read it in 200yrs time lol. hmm that said fink graves  will only be 'ours' for 30 yrs or so....perhaps I can be buried in me garden....at least then me flowers n grass get tended!