yes but in this case i know both people involved and both sides to the story!! she went off for the weekend meant to be with some girlfriends but was instead shagging a bloke so you tell me who was in the wrong the guy who believed her or the one who cheated??????                                                                                                                                                                             

Seems to me that both the 'partners in crime' were a pair of cheating shits   And, as always, the good guy (or gal), gets left heartbroken                                                                                                                                                                             

 no xk only the woman was cheating he wasnt cheating at all!!!!! so not both of em just her !!!!! he stayed at home while she went off and cheated on him with another bloke!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

I meant her other fella was also guilty, to be a part of the deception I hope her 1st fella finds a more worthy lass.                                                                                                                                                                                 

yes i totally agree, like someone said before on this thread, think we've all been there to some degree, some of us more than others, and sadly we have to wise up and it makes us a bit sceptical .
I think what you described that  happened was apalling ZZR , no excuse at all for that, at all....
 i have been on the wrong side of that scenario myself and it makes you feel like s**t, my self confidence plummeted to an  all time low, you just feel numb, worthless  and insignificant when it all comes out, ......luckily we learn to bounce back if we're lucky , hope your friend does too xx                                                                                                                                                                             

 aaaaah i seeeeee lol yes he was and worst bit he knew them both!! 
and yes hes found a much nicer lass to be with !!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Glad to hear it zzr     And fb, just remember who is the shit! Not u for sure. So don't feel bad about yrself, just be glad u aren't lumbered wiv a cheater!   U seem like a nice lass, so be very, very picky!                                                                                                                                                                             

yea really pleased it worked out for him ZZR

Thanks XKL i will try                                                                                                                                                                             

I too am a recent victim of a cheater.  Nearly 22 yrs of married life and he decided that the grass was greener elsewhere... all I can say is thank God!

Yeah I'm struggling financially and yeah he is a  !  but having seen his new 'squeeze' at the FYP I am more than happy, I wish them both well, they match each other perfectly in more ways than one!

Life can be crap at times and love most definitely is hard to define but when someone cheats on you the realisation of the true situation brings out another part of you that you didn't realise you had!  

After this weekend I feel that I can move on, regardless of what crap he throws at me and I can enjoy myself to the max and live life at my pace, which is defo faster than the last 22 years!!! 

Debz, I think the 'gentleman' concerned is one lucky guy to have found someone who is a lovely person.  Does he have a fit bro!                                                                                                                                                                              

 lol @gotbikeneedpilot  funny you should say that he has got a brother but i dont think i would class him as fit pmsl more like streak of p**s 6ft1 and slim but fit and healthy lol.and as for you chick the only way is "up" party on and more rallies thats what you need  if you can get tickets am gonna persuade my russ to go the pudding by the way                                                                                                                                                                              

I think cheating is totally wrong. If you feel the need to cheat whether that be just a snog or a shag then why are you with your partner? If you are able to d this then you clearly do not love or respect your partner. Or remotely care about their feelings.
When I was younger I told my best friends boyfriend that she was cheating on him. It broke up our friendship but I felt better that he knew. It wasn't fair on him. I was classed as the bad person for a long time but he always thanked me for telling him.

 i agree omnf it hurts people and is totally unecessary!! if you want to be with somebody other than your partner then man up,tell them,move on its better that way!!!                                                                                                                                                                              

Going back to the original post and using the circumstances in the OP. yes cheating is wrong on every level. I just wanted to point out that not everything is black and white. I know of relationships and marriages that are open, be it for what ever reason children/ money/ or even health. But these are open where all parties know what it is and that the person who is having the affair (for want of a better word) will not leave their partner, if one person in the triangle dose not know then it is still cheating and still wrong and hurtful.                                                                                                                                                                             

I also wanted to add that maybe if we dont know all the facts about someones life, maybe judging them should not be taken lightly. ( I know in the OP that zzrbabe42 said she did, so this is not directed at her or anyone for that matter, just stating a point)                                                                                                                                                                              

Just been through similar with my missus (which is why I signed up here), she let me down badly but then I had let her down.

All the secrets/lies out in the open now and we suddenly seemed to have turned a corner, we will see I would hate to loose my best friend.

Whoops sorry off topic.

Carry on ignore me :)

(ps that is why my profile seems to be changing every few hours... I want to make it work.)                                                                                                                                                                             

Not sure what the point is in cheating and lying to be honest.... so much hard work..? For me personally, apart from hurting other peoples feelings, it's too much hard work... after all, I can't lie to save my life. And  how can you gain respect from others if you don't have it in the first place. And in the end, the cheater is the one who will end up alone.....

All I know is when I am with someone, they are the only person that I am intrested in. Never cheated before and never plan on trying it.   The same as when you fall in love with someone, why try and change them ? you should love them for who they are and how they are, not what you can try and make them become :(                                                                                                                                                                             

Aww Gee Firestorm, you made me go all gooey!! You are gonna make some lucky woman very happy.  Top man                                                                                                                                                                              

I agree with most of the statements made,.....it does cause too much hurt and pain...... Break my bones it heals but break my heart and part of that will never heal...or it will take someone special to mend it...but as they say the scars remain....

On another note though as someone said earlier unless we know all the facts we shouldn't judge others.....I know of people stuck in marriages from violence to financial problems, but if it is just down right dog standard cheating then it is not right...... However I can't see what someone else poking their nose in it wil help..... Unless you have a vested interest in it ie best friend or something it really has nothing to do with anyone else how people behave and if you intercede ( from experience I say this) you may find that you are blamed for shit stirring!

Just my pennies worth...

Well my problems have escalated so that now we are going through a divorce. I am technically still married but it has been on the ropes for a month or more and we agree it is over, is that classed as cheating by me when my misses has already been elsewhere, I don't think so...

You really need to know the situation before passing judgement, me and the wife have had a good couple of days and have agreed to remain friends. She will remain at home until her and her new partner can sort shit out so before passing judgement learn the facts. 

ps anyone I meet will be told the full facts so there.