Ha ha ha Justjerry........... i learned a lot when i was that age, but cant remember any of them, its my age you know...                                                                                                                                                                             

There once was a man from Long SprocketWho went for a ride in a rocketThe rocket went bangHis balls went clangAnd he found his dick in his pocket                                                                                                                                                                             

topical one....................   There was a young lady from ClaphamWho had too many kids and would slap ‘em, Till the council said, “Cease!”Now she calls the policeAnd they come round with tazers and zap ‘em.                                                                                                                                                                             

  Hey! you shameless reprobates  it's supposed to be POEMS not limmericks.   Jerry, how did you get that lighthouse to stay on your head? lol                                                                                                                                                                                 

  Do Not Judge Me   Do not judge me from the outside Behind the respectable façade, Drying skin, tired eyes, Graying hair and poker face, Is a bright ‘young girl’ Who loves to dance and flirt, Ride often on her motorbike, To shock and scream and laugh Don’t let this old frame deceive you It hides a youthful heart, A lively mind, a yearning, still, To live life to the full Do not judge me on the outside I could still shake you yet.   Author Barbara Fisher                                                                                                                                                                                

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh but limericks are more fun x                                                                                                                                                                             

  Crabby Old Lady  
When an old lady died, in the geriatric ward of a small hospital, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value.
 
Later, when the nurses were going through her meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content impressed the staff so much that they made copies and distributed them to every nurse in the hospital.
 
 
What do you see, nurses,
What do you see?
What are you thinking,
When you’re looking at me?
 
A crabby old woman,
Not very wise?
Uncertain of habit,
With faraway eyes?
 
Who dribbles her food
And makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice,
“I do wish you’d try!”
 
Who seems not to notice
The things that you do,
And forever is losing
A stocking or shoe
 
Who, resisting or not,
Lets you do as your will,
With bathing and feeding
The long day to fill.
 
Is that what you’re thinking?
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse
You’re looking at me
 
I’ll tell you who I am
As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding
As I eat at your will
 
I’m a small child of ten
With a Father and Mother,
Brothers and sisters
Who love one another
 
A young girl of sixteen
With wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now
A lover she’ll meet
 
A bride soon at twenty
My heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows
That I promised to keep
 
At twenty-five now
I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide
And a secure happy home
 
A woman of thirty
My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other
With ties that should last
 
At forty my young sons
Have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me
To see I don’t mourn
 
At fifty, once more
Babies play round my knee
Again we know children,
My loved one and me
 
Dark days are upon me
My husband is dead,
I look at the future
I shudder with dread
 
For my young are all rearing
Young of their own,
And I think of the years
And the love that I’ve known
 
I’m now an old woman
And nature is cruel,
‘Tis jest to make old age
Look like a fool
 
The body it crumbles
Grace and vigour depart,
There is now a stone
Where I once had a heart
 
But inside this old carcass
A young girl still dwells,
And now and again
My battered heart swells
 
I remember the joys
I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living
Life over again
 
I think of the years
All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact
That nothing can last
 
So, open your eyes, people
Open and see
Not a crabby old woman
Look closer…it’s ME!
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                                                                                                                                             

that was some poem sandi. makes you think, especially at 3am.                                                                                                                                                                              

  It made me cry when I first read it, busafeller. Nature is cruel, it ages our bodies but not our minds, we all still feel a lot younger in our heads than we actually are.   If it ever comes to me having to go into a home pass me a gun! I worked in one, as a cleaner, and the smell and staff put me off for life!                                                                                                                                                                                       

I went to the pictures tomorrow
and took a front seat at the back,
I fell from the pit to the gallery
and broke a front bone in my back,
Admission free, pay at the door,
bring you own seats, and sit on the floor!



                                                                                                                                                                             

in the stillness of night, in the glare of day, i ride my bikes to you, up that bloody MOTORWAY!!!! in the rain ,in the sun, i sing as i go, this is dedicated to a lady i know, as i charge along, mile after mile, knowing at journey's end, there's always THAT smile.xxx                                                                                                                                                                                 

spider,spider on the wall, ain't you got no folks at all?, ain't you got no mum or dad?, oh by golly,ain't that sad.......... SPLAT!!!apologies to all arachnid lovers.hahahahahahaahaha                                                                                                                                                                             

hey diddle diddle
strummin the fiddle
waiting for the geezer
to recover and please her                                                                                                                                                                              

hey diddle diddle , my son john,caught in the fallout of an atom bomb, one leg off and three arms on , that's mutation my son john!!                                                                                                                                                                             

the first time we met , you confused me, i was unsure of just who you are, i've now learnt you're not just one person, but together we'll really go far.xx                                                                                                                                                                             

silly old dawg,wherever you are,chase them squirrels,chase them far,the rabbits used to look back and laugh,different now you're a member of "STAFF"......................hahaharf
                                                                                                                                                                             

Don't walk in front of me, i may not follow Dont't walk behind me, i may not lead Walk beside me, and just be my friend...                                                                                                                                                                             

Sometimes you have to smile.... Pretend everthing is ok.. Hold back the tears and just walk away....                                                                                                                                                                             

My heart is sunk and moist is eye, As nothing is more painful than the last goodbye, These two words would change my life forever, As a life without you, i thought never...                                                                                                                                                                             

Awww Jen, you're sounding so sad!!!