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Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
At
a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the car industry and stated
that :- "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five
dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Gates' comments, General Motors issued a
press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a
day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would
have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive
on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn,
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart,
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then
you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive,
but would only work on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights
would be replaced by a single "general car default"
warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size
butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?"
before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would
lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously
lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of
the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even
though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting
to delete this option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would
become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would
have to learn to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off
the engine.
Sandi
In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17948
Very amusing and so true.
anneka56
In: Stockport
Posts: 2525
ROFL that's brilliant
whiteairedfox
In: liverpool
Posts: 857
really funny
dunans
In: southport
Posts: 2834
ive got a laguna estate - You do press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
haha very good tho
Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
I do like this joke....my friend comes up with these amazing jokes and just sends me them out of the blue! Classic! Especially anything that makes cars look bad!
Nutkin68
In: Hull
Posts: 4203
very funny !!!
Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Brummie Jackie
In: Hobbit HQ
Posts: 20609
chuckle chuckle
DTR30
In: Nantwich
Posts: 100
Very clever.....must have had the GM guys chuckling away with that response.
Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Let's hope so DTR30! ha-ha
Deleted Member
In: NA
Posts: 0
Chuckle Chuckle indeed BJ....now lets hear one of your amazing jokes
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