A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not! It's 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember when two months ago we broke down and someone helped us? I think you should help him ... and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, Please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                             

cool rube luv that one he was perhaps a swinger  !!!!   good job he didnt have a dog with him !!!1                                                                                                                                                                             

Be hanging from its lead by then if he had........ rofl                                                                                                                                                                             

cool m8 great joke  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks folks........ see I can do clean when I try  lol                                                                                                                                                                             

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their  days interesting. Well, for example, the other day Marilyn and I went into town and went into             a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there  was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen         a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.  I called him a Nazi *****. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. So Marilyn called him a s---head. He finished the second ticket and put it  on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care..............we came into town by bus! We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important         at our age.                                                                                                                                                                             

 Nice one cowboy.....                                                                                                                                                                              

lol thats a good un