-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine. He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned. The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing............ WAIT FOR IT "I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."

Grooooan                                                                                                                                                                              

Wheelbarrow..... you get WORSE mate                                                                                                                                                                                     

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door  When he opens it, he is confronted by a little chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling "You sign! You sign" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car parts.Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, i have not ordered this, Chinese man looks very puzzled, consults his clipboard and says "You not Nissan Main Deala?