AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 34 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "Darling, 34 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 59 YEAR OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS." MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV. AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS.

I think she loves you                                                                                                                                                                             

So good! That sounds like one of Bob Monkhouse's ,very clever                                                                                                                                                                             

Not so far from the truth for some of us lol                                                                                                                                                                              

Note found on a fridge one morning ;
My Dear Wife,You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight. When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: My Dear Husband,I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a mathsteacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while youread this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of mystudents, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile,and like your secretary, is 18 years old.As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18.Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.                                                                                                                                                                              

i call it a mid life awakening  not a mid life crisis ...   referring to life not the joke!!!! pmsl                                                                                                                                                                              

WB, nice one mate     Slidy, I'm still lmho                                                                                                                                                                               

I liked this one, very good                                                                                                                                                                              

both very witty .......                                                                                                                                                                             

The penis poem ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,My nookie days are over my pilot light is out, what used to be my sex appeal is now my water spout,! Time was when on it's  own from my trousers it would spring,but now it's just a full time job to find the fecking thing ! It used to be embarrassing the way it would behave,for every single morning it would stand and watch me shave !Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues, to see it hang it's little head and watch me tie my shoes !  Any bells ringing there guys ????/ HB x

Bloody hell - have you been looking                                                                                                                                                                              

What do they say "Large bike - small ......"
                                                                                                                                                                             

i think the saying is lots of noise bandito