************** HAVING MUM OVER FOR DINNER You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one... Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.' About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle... You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote: __________________________________________________________ Dear Mom, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian  __________________________________________________________ Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read: ____________________________________________________ Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER           ? ? ? ? ? ?                                                                                                                                                                              

OR.......    Cannibal father and son hunting in the jungle find a beautiful 20 year old girl sleeping next to a watering hole. "Dad", says the boy,"shall we club her and take her home to eat her?"  "No son", says the dad. "We'll club her, take her home, and eat your fuggin' mother!"                                                                                                                                                                             

That's a good un                                                                                                                                                                               

Or ......... A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,I don't know what it is.'While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son. 'Go get your Mother.'                                                                                                                                                                                 

Tony, that's brill pmsl                                                                                                                                                                             

they all made me smile                                                                                                                                                                               

@GT - Hahahahahahaha brilliant