APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period: Time of return Date: Time of departure: NOT to exceed: Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever. Beer Wine Liquor Total Locations to be visited Location: From: To: Location: From: To: Location: From: To: Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Females with whom conversation is permitted IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship. I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit. I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct. Signed -Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: Request is: APPROVED DENIED This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times. ..…………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time: Date: Time of departure: Time of return: Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:                                                                                                                                                                              

Think you may have missed a few points out there Squashy lol                                                                                                                                                                              

lmao ... copied and printed off for future use                                                                                                                                                                              

I believe this is standard issue now.............. might need one for later this afternoon                                                                                                                                                                               

Excellent..   its about time you lads got an official slip...as opposed to a push!!!                                                                                                                                                                               

excellent i shall be utuilising this in future with few added items/conditions to include promises of taking me for slap up meal in the week too lol                                                                                                                                                                             

lol awesome!   you obviously know your place, which is reassuring that other men do too                                                                                                                                                                                

Please add;   'Yes, the 'x' at the end of a message does matter'.....                                                                                                                                                                             

 three locations to be visited, think ya pushing ya luck there betta cut it to 1 lol

you obviously know your place, which is reassuring that other men do too I wouldn't hold your breath.                                                                                                                                                                              

this is where breathing through ya ears comes in handy lol                                                                                                                                                                             

Lol bluesbiker i live in hope!!!!

Miss and where exactly do I exhale then? LOL ~ don't answer that I've got a vivid imagination                                                                                                                                                                              

Permission ???? .... now where did i put that dictionary                                                                                                                                                                              

it means allowed lol we release ur nuts from the box on mantle piece for set period of time lol                                                                                                                                                                             

it means allowed lol we release ur nuts from the box on mantle piece for set period of time lol                                                                                                                                                                             

Well that at least is one form I won't have to worry about                                                                                                                                                                             

its ok badger we can do you one