Creative Puns for Smart Minds 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference.    He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,    but it turned out to be an optical  Aleutian . 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class,    because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was prosecuted for littering 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in  France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other,    “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.” 14. I wondered why the ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said, “Keep off the Grass.” 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.    When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.” 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 21  A backward poet writes inverse. 22. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes. 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 24. Don’t join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!                                                                                                                                                                             

  PML @ number 8 and *11   (*was that the same day that someone blew up the cop station toilets, the police had nothing to go on)                                                                                                                                                                             

wrt no 3   did she make him liquor all night long?                                                                                                                                                                             

If you jumped off a Paris bridge would you be in seine?                                                                                                                                                                              

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)                                                                                                                                                                              

If you swore you'd never jumped off a bridge in Cairo, would you be in de nile?                                                                                                                                                                             

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy                                                                                                                                                                              

Two Eskimos paddling in a kayak became chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. It sank--proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.                                                                                                                                                                              

Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, I find him very annoying.I think I might be lack-toes intolerant. Archaeologists in Britain found part of an ancient door. It had a stone hinge on it My friend Max hates going up steep hills.He's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max. A man was charged with stealing ducks from a local pond in a small English village.When in court, the judge asked how he pleaded. He replied 'Not guilty Mallard'. I used to want to be a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out. A jump-lead walks into a bar, and looks around aggressively at the other customers.The barman says "All right, I'll serve you... but don't start anything." A woman went to France on a wine-tasting vacation. Unfortunately, while in the capital city, she drank too much, fell from her hotel window and ended up in a body cast.When she got home, she swore never to get plastered in Paris again.                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                             

Is a farmer a man outstanding in his field???                                                                                                                                                                             

If How Hi is a China man, can So low be his wife?                                                                                                                                                                             

Just noticed a comment in the chatroom   "people keep entering then leaving just before someone else comes in"   and immediate thought was   "obviously suffering from premature evacuation"                                                                                                                                                                             

Scorpio !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am not surew hat you mean please explain
                                                                                                                                                                             

Just a load of coming and going BJ ..... seemingly at the wrong moment