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The things children say

51 Posts | Latest reply on 15/02/2007 14:37:58 by Di | Go to original / last post

51 posts found over 3 pages. Page:

dbdb

In: Birmingham
Posts: 49

Junior School Children Writing About The Sea 1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6) 3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7) 4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6) 5) A dolphin breaths through an arshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8) 6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6) 7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7) 8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6) 9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) 10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7) 11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6) 12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8) 13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7).

Message posted by dbdb on 30 January 2007 at 18:39

Click here to report this post to a moderator

dbdb @ 30/01/2007 18:39:00

rubecula

In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991

OMFG.........................roflmfao here

Message posted by rubecula on 30 January 2007 at 21:19

rubecula @ 30/01/2007 21:19:38

witchiest

In: hinckley
Posts: 1570

brilliant!! xx

Message posted by witchiest on 31 January 2007 at 10:04

witchiest @ 31/01/2007 10:04:52

In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452

Mum. Yes George. You know it's my birthday soon? Yes George. Well..........can I have a big laser that can cut through metal please. Errrrrrrrrr and at this point I dissolved in to fits of laughter.

Message posted by Di on 31 January 2007 at 18:12

Di @ 31/01/2007 18:12:02

rubecula

In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991

Awww bless him..... he wants to modify your car for you and make it really sporty.

Message posted by rubecula on 31 January 2007 at 18:41

rubecula @ 31/01/2007 18:41:54

In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452

got a horrible feeling it's to go with the gunpowder he requires. that;s for the rocket he needs to build apparently. hence i hide my bike keys cos he knows wot to do

and the key to the garage as well cos that's where all me tools live and i'm sorry he's not having me hedge trimmer or nail gun. nope, not until he's a least 8.

Message posted by Di on 31 January 2007 at 19:33

Di @ 31/01/2007 19:33:38

rubecula

In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991

Buy him an anglegrinder for his birthday......

Message posted by rubecula on 01 February 2007 at 00:16

rubecula @ 01/02/2007 00:16:26

dbdb

In: Birmingham
Posts: 49

If you find where to buy that laser please let me know- I want one!

Message posted by dbdb on 01 February 2007 at 15:34

dbdb @ 01/02/2007 15:34:07

witchiest

In: hinckley
Posts: 1570

u can get child size tools 4 cutting wood and stuff,james will teach him a few things next time u come over di!!

Message posted by witchiest on 01 February 2007 at 16:08

witchiest @ 01/02/2007 16:08:15

In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452

cool buddy, he will loooooooooooooove that. do ya think Charlie will relincquish him tho?

dbdb, George reckons I can get one in Tesco or Waitrose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things are easy when ya 6 ain't they?

Message posted by Di on 01 February 2007 at 16:12

Di @ 01/02/2007 16:12:38

witchiest

In: hinckley
Posts: 1570

methinx charlie will have to help! cos he loves george to bits!

Message posted by witchiest on 01 February 2007 at 16:15

witchiest @ 01/02/2007 16:15:28

In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452

i guessed that by the way he was hanging on to George's foot and being dragged along the floor as we were trying to leave.

wished i could have got that on vid!! bless 'em.

Message posted by Di on 01 February 2007 at 16:36

Di @ 01/02/2007 16:36:30

dbdb

In: Birmingham
Posts: 49

Do you know which aisle they are in at Tesco's and how many clubcard oints you get?

Message posted by dbdb on 01 February 2007 at 17:55

dbdb @ 01/02/2007 17:55:13

rubecula

In: Holyhead
Posts: 3991

I think they are between the bread rolls and the oven cleaner.... on the bottom shelf.

Message posted by rubecula on 02 February 2007 at 11:46

rubecula @ 02/02/2007 11:46:25

In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452

In the toy section along with the stress balls that when squeezed look like giant boils

If ya bought it on it's own no club card points

cos it's only 97p

Message posted by Di on 02 February 2007 at 15:22

Di @ 02/02/2007 15:22:10

In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452

Next to the miniature whoppee cushions

and the dissolving dino eggs in a variaty of colours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Message posted by Di on 02 February 2007 at 15:23

Di @ 02/02/2007 15:23:26

witchiest

In: hinckley
Posts: 1570

found some fart putty in superdrug,47p!!

Message posted by witchiest on 02 February 2007 at 16:49

witchiest @ 02/02/2007 16:49:20

dbdb

In: Birmingham
Posts: 49

After your kids have mastered spelling with Alphabetti Spaghetti, buy a tin of the normal stuff so as they can practise joined-up writing.

Message posted by dbdb on 02 February 2007 at 16:50

dbdb @ 02/02/2007 16:50:13

In: Wellingborough
Posts: 4452

Message posted by Di on 02 February 2007 at 16:50

Di @ 02/02/2007 16:50:49

witchiest

In: hinckley
Posts: 1570

have u seen alphabet spaghetti anywhere,cos i cant find any!!!

Message posted by witchiest on 03 February 2007 at 12:15

witchiest @ 03/02/2007 12:15:53

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