*hoping this thread gets back on topic soon as I have just realised I am in way over my head!!*                                                                                                                                                                              

I cannot pour myself a glass of beer without drinking it.                                                                                                                                                                             

i cannot access yahoo mail!!ffs!                                                                                                                                                                             

Sexual attraction (or indeed repulsion) is often present in a platonic relationship between members of the opposite sex, but it's not a pre-requisite ;o) I've plenty of male friends who say complimentary things about me and tell me they love me etc, yet I know I could trust them to the ends of the earth never to "try it on" with me. But if a chap acts overly flirtatious with me or says something OTT to me with regard to say, their expectations of spending an afternoon in my company, it makes me wary of them and reluctant to find myself alone with them, regardless of whether they believe they are being serious or just joking. Better safe than sorry. That just makes me cautious and responsible for my own safety, it doesn't make me a bad person.           Meanwhile... I cannot get the boss to comprehend plain English. Perhaps I should learn Italian?                                                                                                                                                                              

I also cannot understand this PM... Should I try Babelfish?   "how do babe what hap oin lice front"   I honestly don't know the first thing about lice, I'm really sorry! I mean, are we talking headlice? Woodlice?   I'd answer if only I had a clue what to say!                                                                                                                                                                              

ah... the wonders of predictive text, maybe??   In a heated erotic text exchange I once told a girlfriend I couldn't wait to kick her puppy....                                                                                                                                                                              

blimey you get em WB!                                                                                                                                                                             

i txted a lady wkd said areyou going to plymouth tomorow reply went 'dunno but up for anything xxx by the way who are yu?'                                                                                                                                                                             

hmmm... looks up Pitlochry on the map,very wise words from nice bloakage there!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Aw, thanks LC!   (I am available for weddings, bahmitzvahs and children's parties - my speciality is making balloons out of dogs...)                                                                                                                                                                             

TC,text remark.
What was your reply to that TM.I'd have said it's Firebladekid
                                                                                                                                                                             

coulda been a bloke!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Valid point I suppose,hence saying it's Firebladekid 
Think Dave might be on here on my case in a little while
                                                                                                                                                                             

Thanks and big hug to you Wills...sorry Oggy mate, scoffed cake...you know comfort eating and all that!!! PMSL Hope you are alright mate?                                                                                                                                                                             

I'm still wondering why anyone would want to kick a puppy?? Puppies are lovely - I like to stroke and play with them as often as I can.   Oh and I changed my bed this morning, including the duvet ..... it was easy!   (Quickly looks for exit .......)                                                                                                                                                                             

I like pussys too Geoff,spent all night stroking one last night,puppies are good as well.                                                                                                                                                                              

*shouts out to geoff*... "which duvet cover did you go for in the end, Pirates of The Carribean or Toy Story??"                                                                                                                                                                             

I heard there was a Barbie one somewhere                                                                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                                                                             

a*se - just realised oggy and I could be seriously moderated by geoff from now on....