* This was handed out to parents by an american catholic church *I got it off another forum, and it amused me a little.Is Your Child a Goth? Presented by St. Mary’s Church Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan’s temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child. -Frequently wears black clothing. -Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. -Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish. -Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols. -Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. -Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) -Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. -Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. -Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. -Takes drugs. -Drinks alcohol. -Is suicidal and/or depressed. -Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.) -Complains of boredom. -Sleeps too excessively or too little. -Is excessively awake during the night. -Demands an unusual amount of privacy. -Spends large amounts of time alone. -Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) -Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. -Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. -Misbehaves at school. -Misbehaves at home. -Eats excessively or too little -Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. -Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) -Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) -Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. -Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. -Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. -Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. -Expresses an interest in sex. -Is homosexual and/or bisexual. -Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. -Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: “I’m so gothic, I’m dead”, “woe is me”, “I’m a goth”. -Claims to be a goth. If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center. ~St. Mary’s Catholic Church I scored 31/36 so its down to hell for me!! What a load of twaddle.                                                                                                                                                                             

*chortling lots @ this*

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.

But when the Catholics do it, it's called "corporal mortification" or a "spiritual discipline", so that's OK then

                                                                                                                                                                             

Check out LandoverBaptist.org                                                                                                                                                                               

oooer i scored high to!!never did like 'wholesome' activities! and dance in a sexual and provocative way !![untill some lady gancho's me nut's!!!] and drink the blood of Christ in excess!!                                                                                                                                                                             

So you don't express an interest in sex then TM?                                                                                                                                                                              

I really must pay more attention. Read Wannabe's last post as                                                                                                                                                                              

I really must pay more attention. Read Wannabe's last post as Landroverbaptist and had visions of god-botherers driving round in their 4x4s                                                                                                                                                                             

So you don't express an interest in sex then TM?   depends whose offering!not many if any these day's! thank God he gave us a right hand and the internet!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

*chortles@ Wills*

Nearasdammit - pretty funny website... they're always coming out with "Signs your child is becoming a Satanist/Occultist/Homersekshual" stuff

Mind you... I'm seriously considering getting into the handcrafted cilice market... I spend my time doing my utmost to get rid of any sharp burrs/edges etc in my jewellery making... but the sharper the better in cilices.

A half leg one in sterling silver fetches around $500... rather better mark-up than my £8 pendants! Could probably inflate my prices if I pretend they've been put together by a small order of nuns living on a mountain in italy too!
                                                                                                                                                                             

Seriously worrying stuff....   We should write one in case people might think their parents are religious zealots!                                                                                                                                                                             

I confess I went straight to Snopes, convinced it had to be a total wind-up... but I can't find owt!                                                                                                                                                                               

Nope... having been involved with having to reverse the brainwashing by these cults I am afraid this is what they believe to be true!!!                                                                                                                                                                              

Look up Landover Baptists in Wikipedia and it's a spoof.
www (dot) godhatesfags.com is, alas, the real thing. There's not much difference, is there?                                                                                                                                                                             

lol! Sorry - I should've made the spoof status clear Wills! 

                                                                                                                                                                             

Remember George Carlin?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU
                                                                                                                                                                             

Thanks WB!   Just had a look at the Landover site - very clever... but not as funny as the letters page from people who think it is real!   I had never heard of George Carlin but he speaketh the truth...   And as for GodHatesFags.. wow! Interesting stuff... If you have some time to spare, click on the God Hates The World link and click on the UK.... then see what bile they are spouting!   Off now for a Wannabe-stylee Youtube loop of George Carlin....                                                                                                                                                                             

Hehehe! See you in a couple of days then TC 

That letters page is quality isn't it?!

Was that god hates fags one the one they did the tv prog about - with their children on the picket lines and whatnot?

Ye gads...

Ooooh! Book recommendation... Blind Faith by Ben Elton... just started reading it in t'tub this morning... quality!