I made myself some chicken butties yesterday for work which i promptly left at home. So i decided to have them for my lunch today. my stomach is making some disagreeable noises and a comfort break is imminent. I feel like i am going to die. i had the yogurt too that had been sitting on the worktop with the sandwiches. I commend my soul to any god that can find it. and as i have said before in another thread i am working late tonight. think i will be keeping a clear path to the loo.   Any sugestions to speed up my dimise???                                                                                                                                                                             

Any god?   I have a 6' 7", 23st gay friend, who claims to be the God of Sexual Depravity... Last seen dressed as a cherub with wings, high heels, posing pouch and 2' black double-ended dildo, while passing out free shots of tequilla in order to help promote a new nightclub in the town centre.....   Will that god do?       As for speeding up your demise... Ex-Lax!!!! Melt lots of that in a pan, adding handfuls of dried prunes and apricots. When the pan is full, allow to cool & set. Ensure all personnel have been evacuated from buildings within a 2 mile radius......   Then eat the lot!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

If you think you're about to get it bad, put yourself in this guy's situation:   http://www.singletrackworld.com/for...618 Get youself admitted to Aintree Hospital and it could even be you...                                                                                                                                                                             

Owee!!! Thanks Wills!! Awesome thread!!!                                                                                                                                                                              

Don't thank me, thank Mozie who posted it first on Bike Chat.                                                                                                                                                                             

Thanks Mozie - thas a lulu                                                                                                                                                                             

I've just split my stitches laughing.   Tears are running down my face and it hurts                                                                                                                                                                              

Brilliant!                                                                                                                                                                             

absofantastic