http://uk.news.yahoo.com/skynews/20080813/tuk-northerne...dbed5.html  is it that bad oop north?                                                                                                                                                                             

Yes. Northern towns all suck and are crap, therefore all Northerners must move down here, so Gordy & Minions can then tax them for other random, made-up shit!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Did the guys that wrote this report actually visit places oop North?? How can they say that there's been a decade of failed efforts to regenerate northern cities??? Have they ever visited Manchester, Newcastle, Leeds, Liverpool - capital of culture?? yes, all cities like this have bad areas - same as darn sarf...same as anywhere in the country! & to say that they have "little prospect of offering their residents the standard of living to which they aspire" is incredible  - industry is just as good up here as darn sarf & the cost of living (even given the credit crunch, price hikes etc) are still cheaper!!!...actually ... is this a p*ss take?? is it April 1st??                                                                                                                                                                              

I spent the day in London and Woking yesterday and I'm sorry, but I hate it, always have.   I actually made the fatal mistake of cracking a joke on the tube yesterday evening - only to be stared at by twenty worried eyes after learning they were sharing space with The Man Who Talks!                                                                                                                                                                             

What she said!!!   I hear Manchester has even bothered to finally put street names up!!! Maybe I won't get lost when I'm next up at the Academy                                                                                                                                                                              

hey - we've even put tarmac over the cobbles on the M1 now - makes driving up a lot comfier for you soft suverners                                                                                                                                                                              

they probably didnt understand english geof!                                                                                                                                                                             

i aint goin north cos yu'll wanna get serious! [not yu geoff! well dont know, yu might!]                                                                                                                                                                              

awwww...TM.......go on - I know you wanna! ...ps have already booked the Church!                                                                                                                                                                              

Ah... the Southern Softie line, eh? Well, having been born in Glenfinnan, where it's so cold I was born blue.........   London. Don't talk, don't make eye-contact. In fact, just don't in general!!!   I dunno. I lived in Camden and Harrow for a while and it was all weird. I hate people in general, but this was quite the headf**k. No wonder the world is messed up if these are the people living in it.   Makes me want to just go on a mass-cull of humanity.   Some of it was good, but you really had to fight through the cattle-parade to get anything.                                                                                                                                                                              

Oh, sorry - Forgot to rant about the foreigners....     BASTARDS!!!! You live here for twenty years, you WILL speak the language of this country, which happens to be English, you feckers!!!   Do it, or I'll import an army of Glaswegians and move them in next door to you!!!!!     Thank-you. TTM - P.R. Consultant to HRH Prince Phillip.                                                                                                                                                                              

TM of course you can come uo north. Bikes don't have hubcaps, so we can't nick em                                                                                                                                                                             

not the nickin but the pinchin i'm worried about!                                                                                                                                                                             

Oh, I dunno..... I hear being pinched by some of them Northern Lasses is quite an exhilarating experience, bud... Give a try first, at least!!!                                                                                                                                                                                 

hmmm.....pinching suverners  I'll give that one a go                                                                                                                                                                              

AWWRIIIIIGHT.... Gents, form an orderly queue behind Sheffield and Miss Holmfirthgirl shall see each and every one of you in turn.   Anyone pushing, jostling or queuejumping will be sent back to queue from Bournemouth!!                                                                                                                                                                             

**AWWRIIIIIGHT.... Gents, form an orderly queue behind Sheffield and Miss Holmfirthgirl shall see each and every one of you in turn.   Anyone pushing, jostling or queuejumping will be sent back to queue from Bournemouth!! **     ROFLMO......ok, I'm waiting for the first victim *ahem I mean suvernor*                                                                                                                                                                              

I'll go first, I don't mind taking one for the team purely for research you understand....                                                                                                                                                                             

ahem..... As the engineer, *I* am responsible for first ensuring the system complies with regulations and is safe for use......     Gimme yer best shot, Holmie!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

hey - no arguing guys otherwise I'll send you both back to Bournemouth!   Ok then - now bend over **you may wanna bite down hard on something**