These are pinched from somewhere but you may have some of your own.... ;o) 1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work. 2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man. 3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic. 4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle. 5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction. 6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard. 7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with. 8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah". 9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like. 10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line". 11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb. 12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms. 13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are **ed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that. 14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings. 15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad. 16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it? 17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles. 18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later. 19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya." 20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver. 21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah. 22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage". 23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?" 24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized sh*t. 25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C**T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".                                                                                                                                                                              

swingin me leg over the bike like John Wayne gettin on a horse[forgot i put a sissy bar on t'other day!!!oop's!!]                                                                                                                                                                             

 And I thought with my boobs I was all woman,   But it seems as though I'm all man                                                                                                                                                                              

youre not one o them Taunton lady boy's are you?                                                                                                                                                                             

Well if the original post is true I'm manlier than my ex husband.   Mind you he was busy getting his nails done while I fitted the new kitchen.                                                                                                                                                                               

I always used to get the old line "Oh! I would've done that"   Aye? When, precisely?   3 months ago when I asked if you would?   Or now, just as I'm finishing up and packing the tools away?                                                                                                                                                                             

Scary - I bet u cause a stampede at the tailors when asking for a bra!                                                                                                                                                                             

bet yu'd like to do the fittin to xk!!                                                                                                                                                                             

36F? ...certainly madam...now if you'd just care to wait for me in the cubicle...                                                                                                                                                                             

Wanabe...you mean you ask? I just get on and do the job can't be as**d with asking crikey lifes to short.   And I would never asked to be fitted for a bra...I just put the bra on my head and if it fits I know its the right size.                                                                                                                                                                             

I seem to recall you being advised to put a nipple on your head!                                                                                                                                                                             

Scary - out of context that sounds really crap.   I was taking the p*ss out of the guys ogling you and meant no offence to you at all.   I wholeheartedly apologise if any was taken.   TC                                                                                                                                                                             

26. Being able to do stupid shifts, (either too long to be legal or too close togeather to also flunt health and safty guidelines). 27. To stop and offer help to a woman with a puncture, breakdown.   28. To stop for any biker/s broken down or in other distress.   29. Not cry at chick flicks.........mmmm   30. Allways have a multitool with you at ALL times????                                                                                                                                                                             

27. To stop and offer help to a woman with a puncture, breakdown.   Sadly those days are going rapidly... men are either scared to stop to offer a woman help in case they frighten her or they daren't stop in case they get an earful along the lines of "Do I LOOK incapable?!" ;o)                                                                                                                                                                                 

Hull750Rider <------------- only stops if driving car less frightening for woman alone .                                                                                                                                                                             

Kind of related to Wannabe's post....   A few years ago I was driving on a main street in a quiet Scottish village when I saw a little girl fall off her bike in a side street. I stopped the car and was just about to get out and see if she was ok (I always have a first aid kit in the boot) when I actually stopped myself. This was about the time when there were big paedophile witch hunts going on and I thought what it would be like to an observer who hadn't seen the whole story to see a man stopped in his car and talking to a young girl on her bike... she wasn't crying and was only rubbing her knee where it was slightly grazed, so all I could do was sit there, make sure she was okay and wait until she got safely underway again. I regularly beat myself up about this but I am still sure it was the best thing to do at the time.   The world has changed since I was a kid and I am pretty much hating it right now.                                                                                                                                                                               

know where your comin from once stopped a little girl from runnin in the rd parents didnt see her runnin to the rd all they saw was me holdin her back!!frosty looks an accusin eyes said it all luckily someone told them what happened did i get a thank yu?, no!!

*nods heavy head to TM*                                                                                                                                                                             

WHAT???!!!   This ain't manly. These are (mostly) basic requirements of almost every human I know...   The guys at work seem to think being able to fight properly with big, scary medieval weaponry is manly, but I find the girls are just as good at that, too!!     I dunno... maybe having Viking heritage and keeping the company of bikers has warped my perspectives, but I reckon anyone who doesn't naturally do a fair bit of this stuff is a whining little sissy!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

I'm just gutted about the cheering bit when you walk into the pub TTM... I thought they were actually pleased to see me!