The Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' 'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.' So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat. 'Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. 'Eees a bacon tree.' 'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't forget.' 'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree'. And with that... Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath. 'Pepe... go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree.' 'Luis Luis mi amigo... what ees it? 'Pepe... ees not a bacon tree... ........................Ees ....Ees Ees..Eees a Ham Bush.                                                                                                                                                                             

***groan....***                                                                                                                                                                             

oh my god, took me all of 90 seconds to read that as well.  I want my time back!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Well at least it didn't take 3 minutes of wasted time...lol                                                                                                                                                                             

Nice one Scary.  I liked it anyway, you even got the accent.                                      M.S.