2nd attempt at posting this, but here we go   When Lady Penelope swoons Her breasts burst out like two balloons But her butler stands by With a glint in his eye And he pops them back in with warm spoons   Over to you ...                                                                                                                                                                             

   @ your lymeric   I can only remember one and it would get deleted lol                                                                                                                                                                                 

There once was a technician named Lil.That took a chance on a Nuclear Pill.They found her vagina,in South Carolina,and her boobs in a tree in Brazil!                                                                                                                                                                             

This has got to be the funniest thread for a long time !!!                                                                                                                                                                             

There was a young lady from BudeWho had scenes of old England tattooedHer Boyfriend, one daywent the whole Penine WayWith Cheddar Gorge still to be viewed                                                                                                                                                                             

excellent Diane !!!                                                                                                                                                                               

There once was a Man named McSweenyWho spilled some Gin on his weenieJust to be CouthHe added VermouthAnd slipped his chick a Martini!                                                                                                                                                                             

mary had a little lamb who had a touch of collic she gave it brandy twice a day and now it's an alcoholic                                                                                                                                                                              

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS                                                                                                           40-ish..........................49    Adventurous..........Slept with all your friends Athletic............................No boobs Average looking.................Ugly Beautiful...........................Pathological liar Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure..............On medication Free spirit..........................Junkie Feminist.............................Fat Friendship first...................Former slut Fun..................................Annoying Gentle..............................Dull New Age................Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded.....................Desperate Outgoing...................Loud and Embarrassing Passionate........................Sloppy drunk Poet.................................Depressive Professional.......................Bitch Romantic...........................Frigid Voluptuous........................Very Fat Large frame.......................Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate................Stalker Widow..............................Murderer                                                                                                                                                                               

Agree with N68...best thread for ages! Di, I want to know where you get them all from! Brilliant...can't stop laughing...                                                                                                                                                                             

Mary had a little lamb ............. the midwife was surprised                                                                                                                                                                             

 @ geoff                                                                                                                                                                             

Mary had a little lamb, She also had a bear, I've often seen her little lamb, but never seen her bear.                                                                                                                                                                             

    Mary had a little lamb She tied it to a pylon Someone turned the power on And turned it's fleece to nylon                                                                                                                                                                                     

    Mary had a little lamb She tied it to a pylon Someone turned the power on And turned it's fleece to nylon                                                                                                                                                                                     

I think Di has found her forum lol This one is a bit tasteless so you might not want to read it   There was a young vampire called MableWho's periods were very unstableSo every full moonShe took out a spoonAnd drunk herself under the table                                                                                                                                                                             

There was a young lady from Ealing Who thought she'd no sexual feeling Till a young lad named Boris Caressed her clitoris And she had to be scraped from the ceiling