hangin around like the proverbial bad smell as they say!tryin to find answers to life the universe an stuff!! an why i love my old rattycrappy Harley [its like a woman keeps lettin me down!!oops!] beutiful mediteranien weather here at the moment so plenty of rides out for breakys an tea's,hope it lasts till chrissy,after which i hopefully will have a trip somewhere!have yu new bike?yu had a korean thing didnt yu?

I know I am going to find it hard to trust again, I have been cheated on three times in two long-term relationships/marriage, twice in 10 years with my first boyfriend, once (I think) with my soon to be ex-husband in 15 years.  Coming up to a year now, in November, and its still raw.  To be honest, relationships scare the hell out of me now, everythings different nowadays, whats the acceptable way to behave ?, is it alright to ask a guy out, does it make you look easy?  There are drinks spiked in pubs, date rape,  I have had a drink spiked a few months ago in Blackpool and luckily my mates got me back safe - its scary.

Hi people,I couldn't help thinking of Sinead O'Conners lyrics-   Thank you for breaking my heart Thank you for tearing me apart Now Ive a strong strong  heart Thank you for breaking my heart   Theres some solace to be found in those lines   Cheers from iggypup                                                                                                                                                                               

Nice one Iggypup   I think that as long as we learn from our mistakes then we put the silver lining around the cloud   Nutkin, as for women making the first move - why not ? I'd hope we're well past the days when that was seen as being easy... I'll guarantee you there's some genuine nice guys out there who are way to insecure to approach a pretty lady - you'd make their day                                                                                                                                                                              

Cheers for that stuey, but I'm pretty shy myself                                                                                                                                                                              

Wow, some sad stories out there... but we are not a story. The person who did something you didn't like didn't let you down. Your expectation of them let you down. Loads of people get hurt or do the hurtin to others, often it's all about ego or self. In my world I don't live in the past, I don't live in the future. I don't really care for too much thinking either, because when you disappear back into yourself to do all that thinking you miss a lot of fantastic things that are happening out there in reality. The only moment you got is this one right here right now. My advice for what it's worth is treasure this moment now, open your eyes & enjoy the things it contains right now because in most cases everything will be OK (and believe me OK is good enough sometimes!). The mind is an unruly animal guys and if you allow it to screw with you it will! A different perspective that may not sound sympathetic, it is meant to encourage a person to take responsibility for their own feelings and actions so they can help themselves to find happiness. Fastfreddy                                                                                                                                                                               

Well said Freddy, live for today, wake up with a smile. You can't change the past but you can stop it hurting you! Go out and enjoy your life whatever gets thrown at you. If something happens that makes you feel down go out and do something that makes you feel better.   All I can say is that it works for me.                                                                                                                                                                              

Have just been catching up with the posts.  We really do put ourselves through the mill sometimes.  Freddy, I think what you said was spot on, but also some good advice from some of the others.  Life is for living.  Learn from our mistakes and move on.  Hard we know, but its a must. You guys on this site are the best...                                                                                                                                                                               

Yesterday is              History,   Tomorrow is a            Mystery   Today is a            Gift   Thats why they call it the present                                                                                                                                                                             

I have to wait for women to make the first move, cos I'm absolutely crap at asking them. I've had my fair share of relationships, and in general they've been with women I've known for a while and we've just sort of fallen into them by accident or over time.

Ok, so I've had some women cheat and other relationships end for other reasons, but that's never put me off. Somewhere out there is a bunny-boiler with my full name tattooed across her forehead. I'll know her when I meet her.

Daytona - good luck out there At least your's comes ready stamped lol   I get your first para - most of my relationships have been the same - go for the girl that goes for you For me, that's a self confidence issue   You go find that bunny boiler and live your dreams   Oh - and learn to spell Flitwick                                                                                                                                                                               

what is the correct description of a bunny boiler??                                                                                                                                                                             

  Bunny Boiler is a pejorative term for an obsessive and dangerous individual, most commonly referring to a jilted lover who is stalking the person who has spurned her or him.                                                                                                                                                                             

havent spurned anyone for yrs                                                                                                                                                                             

Comes from the film Fatal Attaction, where Glenn Close's character cooks Michael Douglas's daughter's pet rabbit in an act of revenge for him having dumped her.                                                                                                                                                                             

Here's where I put my foot in it......lol   I have met a ''wonderful, gorgeous....ooh just wanna squeeze him'' man of here.... Hard work at times and no expectations for where it will go, but as I have told him I thank him for makin me feel so alive again.... ( See no negativity there !......lol )   My trust however has been betrayed by people I thought were friends. While I feel let down I'm not goin to bitch on here. I have said my peace and wish these people well. Everyone deserves to be happy - To old to be bitter...you just move on.   But to the special person who has been totally honest and there for me - I owe you alot and long may our friendship last.                                                                                                                                                                              

i always fall for wrong person so got to the stage where am gonna give up,enjoy life and all my lovely friendships.                                                                                                                                                                              

I agree with LL - congrats and fingers crossed for you - same thing happened to me 10 months ago with someone from here and we're still together.  We've had our ups and downs and know each other isnt perfect and we've certainly found out each others faults.  We now know  we both have them and accept that cos we're human, but we always try to work out a status quo and make compromises so that we keep close and continue to enjoy being together. Relationships never easy, especially as you get older and have more of a past to move on from but it can be done if you want things to work badly enough and things feel right.  Just dont expect too much too soon or want all your boxes ticking lol!!! having the majority ticked may just be enough to enjoy life together and you can always work on the rest together.............maybe worth a thought!!!! Gotta forget the past and move on positively and find yourself again first though...........good luck all, be happy and keep smiling and having fun - thats the first thing you must learn to do  again I found!! Sandy x                                                                                                                                                                             

the darby an joan image of a loving one to one supporting relationship is fast disapearing,as a wedding photographer i see the parents of the bride an groom are generally separated divorced whatever! which was fairly rare yrs ago!whether peeps are unhappier now! or maybe they were unhappy yrs ago an its easier to split now! the baby boomers[i am one an divorced!]continue to party!!even the bride an groom often have kids from previous relationships,but they are doin the right thing gettin married cos when they split [chances are they will!]it should be easier for the woman[who generally is left holdin the can!!] to get maintenance an hse etc,even if yu dont get married yu should have some sort of contract so yu aint left with nothin when he buggers off wiv yur best mate!!its a minefield out there so protect yourself!![in more ways than one!!!]

just a note, i have had peeps not pickin up the finished album cos they have  split up!!!!