A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently used in a humorous situation."Where there's a will, I want to be in it," OR “Where there’s a will, there’s relatives,” is a type of paraprosdokian.Ok, so now enjoy!1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paycheques.12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.                                                                                                                                                                             

Rofl @ragnar

2, 4, 5 and 13 seem so true its unreal!

Made me giggle before bed. Thank you!                                                                                                                                                                             

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

                                                                                                                                                                             

lol where do you get them?                                                                                                                                                                              

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way; so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.                                                                                                                                                                              

I have kleptomania, when it gets bad I take something for it.                                                                                                                                                                             

@Izzy ... you truly are one Mad Burd!  LMAO!                                                                                                                                                                             

Look before you leap ... she may have moved
                                                                                                                                                                             

ragnar is one funny and clever guy.                                                                                                                                                                             

I'm not really Ellie, all I know to do is cut and paste. I'm really a div.