Just wondering if i am the odd bod on here... Is there anyone one else who struggles to accept compliments graciously but yet seems to readily accept criticism? For quite a while now i have been responding to any compliment i have recieved in a negative way by automatically putting myself down or being overly suspicious of the person's intentions. I have become quite self deprecating and am beginning to wonder if there is a way out of this. Criticism however i readily n fully accept. I seem to have lost my f**k you attitude n have become 'beige'! Is this an age thing? Or is it just the fact that over a period of time my own self worth has finally been kicked out of me? Answers on a postage stamp please!

I am no psycho analyst, thats for sure. But we should all learn by life experiences how to deal with these things. Having known a couple of psycho therapists in the past (purely as friends), it was realized that all the answers you need come from within. The therapist is just the medium that guides you to the answers.
Most people I know find it hard to accept compliments due to embarrassment. But why not just accept compliments based on face value, as they can actually make you feel good in yourself. Don't worry about the intention of the compliment just accept it, you don't actually have to do anything with it.   I think taking in negative criticism can be a good thing, as there may be something you have not seen in yourself, that others have, which only you can correct.   What you seem to be saying is that you are actually  normal like the rest of us.   Sorry I couldn't get this on a postage stamp                                                                                                                                                                              

You get compliments cos you deserve them.

Say thank you smile and feel good about your self and bask in your greatness lol.

But dont let it all go yo your head we will never get it through the door 8-)                                                                                                                                                                             

we loves yah chick your ace xx                                                                                                                                                                             

GBNP.............You came across as a nice person to chat to at the Pilly day   
Does that help ?????                                                                                                                                                                               

  PML @ 'just wondering if I'm the ODD one on here' being 'odd' is the top requirement to becoming a Biker Match member.   Now listen to your surrogate Mam (me), every day look in the mirror and tell yourself this 'I am worthy, I am a good person' then stick your tongue out , it won't make you a better person but it will make you laugh  and we all need plenty of those.   Whenever anyone criticises you, ignore it, the only criticism we need is the constructive kind that we ASK others to give us.                                                                                                                                                                                 

Remarkably 

I am in agreement with Sandi, Stuie, Debs,  AJ & David 


                                                                                                                                                                             

i'll add me lil bit here toooo chick 

ive never met you but that's irrelevant really!!.... why on earth is any compliment not true would be my question?  its a sad thing when people criticise themselves or put down compliments... we are all beautiful beings and we are all beautiful individuals... every inch of your being is perfect and just as it should be

remember that every time you think abooot yaself...... i agree with Sandi... unless you have actually asked for an opinion on something then i dont see why any criticism is necessary.... and especialy from yourself!!! ya crazy lady.... all you need to show yaself is loads of love and no criticsms allowed ~ its the hippy in me by the way

i think most of us have been on this journey at some point or other... but honestly chick.... you are perfect as you are (unless of course you go around murdering small bunnies then i may consider to take back me words hahahahahaha )

its a shame us humans feel the need to bring each other and ourselves down when in fact we are all bloody ace and amazing and soooooooooooo gorgeous its unreal ... yup every one of us

i for one think there needs to be more positivity in this world and us humans should show each other much more positive thoughts and love and happiness...... that would be luuuusshh xx

Hi GBNP
Agreed I don't know you but I'm sure it's because you are nice
I'm like you though accepting compliments doesn't come easy, in fact I tend to be the first one to put myself down... Somehow I think it will beat others to it in fact! Being self effacing somehow equates to being humble and in being humble, so makes one more likeable? I dunno , I grew up as the ugly duckling and therefore was never used to compliments anyway, only the "popular" girls got compliments lol
It's almost like accepting a compliment makes it seem like we're big headed ! God alone knows
Anyway rambled on Enuff now just had to let you know you're not alone x

I'm no Psycho Analyst but I have been afflicted by the "self deprecation" bug too 

There are days when I feel justifiably proud of who I have become 

Then other days I wonder how the  I got into the "top 20" guys 

Let alone number 1 

I think it's called "impostor syndrome" 

I feel sure I'll be "found out" and exposed as not being worthy 

Accepting compliments never sits comfortably

But on my rare good days I try to take them with good grace and remain

Hang in there GBNP, you are smarter & kinder than you think

That's why folk take the time to tell you, how you make them feel
                                                                                                                                                                              

Fuzzybody, the ugly duckling syndrome is perfectly worked out in the lyrics of the UB40 song, 'homely girl ', where the original ugly duckling girl, that none of the guys want to be seen with, blossoms into the girl they ALL want to be seen with. 

66                                                                                                                                                                             

No here very often,dont know ya but you know yourself if its something you want to hear... off someone,if you aint feeling some kinda connection to someone you aint gonna accept a compliment off them,youll be doubting whatever has been said. End of.....

As an after thought.it doesnt matter if you aint got no connection anyway,cos stuff anyone who dont take you as you are
                                                                                                                                                                             

Wow! Thanks for the therapy guys, i am gonna take on board many of the tips n advice starting tomorrow! So attendees at the burpday bash had better watch out!! Lol.

My turn for giving compliments; each of you individually managed to put your finger on some part of me, many of you dont know me, which only means one thing ... You are all very special people. Thank you all.

The drinks are on me if n wen we meet!

GBNP.Re that first post? How did you read my thoughts and put them on here with your pic.? Please read my response to yours about being able to tell what someone is like by their choice of pic. I immediately thought "She's having a dig at me cos I put my bum on there and they all think I'm a tart". Then I remembered your lovely, funny post before and thought "Nah!!!". What I mean is you are not alone in that messed up thinking. Although some are too quick to judge and put you down.   I always wait for someone to try to knock me down so I tend to get in first. It's called low self esteem. Knocked into you by others. Now I won't tell you again your pic or you seem nice because you'll think I'm a syncophant or taking the pi$$. Not really. You seem like a great girl. Mines a Guinness                                                                                                                                                                             

i hope i didnt come across as "big headed" at all in my post coz anyone that knows me.. knows im far far from that!!!  

i thnk hte point i was trying to make is why not believe in how wonderful you are? why is it a crime to believe in yourself... you can be humble and a wonderful lovely person without having to be negative about yourself..... surely??  (dont calle me shirley )

so i guess what i was trying to say is....... keep saying hte positive stuff to yourself and you will start to believe it and you will wipe out the negative peeps from your life... its not a crime to love yourself (and i dont mena that in a bitchy "oooh she loves herself" negative way either hahahahaha!!!

i hope someone gets what im on about...... have fun and be happy all and you are all darrrrrrrrrrrrrrn gawwwwjusss

yup of course i have those negative thoughts too... ive grown up with them and worse.... bt ive made a decision to change all that and dont let your past spoil your future.... coz your future dont deserve it xxx
                                                                                                                                                                             

    Ok, who's going to organise a 'Hug Fest'? lol    I'll  be there, I love hugs                                                                                                                                                                              

me tooooooooo ~ hugs... yayyyy 

and darn good giggles toooooo ..... watch them fellas tho..... any excuse to grab our butts while our arms are otherwise engaged
                                                                                                                                                                             

Engaged doing whot?? Grabbing their's???   Me! me! me up for a "Hug Fest" let me know where and when   Now xSuzix. Tut tut. Don't you start that self-doubt nonsense too. Big head??? My big a£$@!                                                                                                                                                                             

noooo xSusix did nt think you were big headed at all 

was just sayin that when I was at school( which is probably alot longer ago than you lol ), if you dared to have any self esteem and accept a compliment you were deemed big headed, not that i ever was cos i never got any 

School day memories sometimes haunt and stay with you a long time i still feel uncomfortable with any (occasional) compliments i receive and tend to laugh them off,
This is apparently an insult to the person giving the compliment, and no insult is meant, obviously , just old habits die hard