Good intentions misinterpreted!

27 Posts | Latest reply on 09/06/2013 09:38:17 by davidneale | Go to original / last post
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Howdy folks,

I just wanted to put this out there and see if others have experienced similar misunderstandings.

I'm new to the site and in an attempt to kick start my membership I have sent a few nods and a couple of messages and have to say I've received a limited response.

Perhaps this is only me, however I will talk to anyone, anywhere regardless of the situation, time and place. I get the distinct impression that some individuals (no names) seem to think that because I have sent them a message or a nod that this is an indication of romantic interest, which certainly isn't the case.

I suppose it sums up people in general, suspicious of anyone who shows an interest in communicating with someone they've never met before.

It's worth adding that the individuals to whom I refer are non riders which to my mind speaks volumes as to their true reason for being here. It's certainly not to have fun chatting and getting to know other bikers but more likely that they're using the site as a potential dating arena as any true biker will gladly talk for endless hours with a fellow rider.

Anyway, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there and see if anyone else has experienced the same, dare I say, ignorance of being ignored?
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You're not unique in this respect, I, and many others I suspect, have had the same responses. Dont take it personally, you have to remember that some people have been here a while and have forged the friendships they want and stick with them.
Just chalk it up to experience and move on, it may be they have not seen your messages or nods. Plenty more fish in the sea.
Get yourself into the chatroom, get to know some of the regulars in there, you can most nights rely on a lively bit of cheeky banter.                                                                                                                                                                             
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Thanks double six, that was a very diplomatic response and is appreciated.

I guess we tend to judge others by our own standards and as such I would never blank someone's attempt to communicate whether I know them or otherwise.

Anyway, I think I'd be wise to follow your advice and chalk it up as experience.

Thanks again mate. ;)
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bikerken

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Hi KXZ I been on here about 9 months and people do repond some dont but I found a lot of them will welcome you so give it a try and get involed Thumbs Up                                                                                                                                                                             
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Thanks bikerken,

Jobs a good un!

:)                                                                                                                                                                             
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bikerken

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kxz i'm going too a party weekend today my first with BM i'm not camping tonight but if i'm better tomorrow I wil stop as off to Belguim and Germany sunday night so I will be meeting a lot of new face in person. good site Thumbs Up                                                                                                                                                                             
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bikerken

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kxz i'm going too a party weekend today my first with BM i'm not camping tonight but if i'm better tomorrow I wil stop as off to Belguim and Germany sunday night so I will be meeting a lot of new face in person. good site Thumbs Up
                                                                                                                                                                             
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TheSlasher

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Hey KXZ, from a female point of view... I have received nods in the past and I have always sent one back, well you do nod on the road aswell...? And to me a nod is a nod, nothing more and nothing less. Personally I think it's rude not to answer a nod or a message... even if to say there is no interest for whatever reason. To me personally, this site is a great one to meet fellow bikers and in the 8 months I have been here, have made a great deal of mates and even some close friends and I am very grateful for that. The great thing about BikerMatch is, that you don't have to depend on pm's, but you can get into the chatroom and also go to meets and parties or even arrange your own meet up or ride out with folk near you, I know I have been to many ad hoc rides and it's great fun and a brill way to meet peeps. Make use of everything that is available here and enjoy the ride x
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Yep, what she said Smile and 

welcome 


                                                                                                                                                                             
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whats ordinary?

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Hey k-6 (hope u don't mind the abbreviation, I'll go blind if I try to copy all those digits).Wacko
I first joined the site for riding partners and possible romance (cheesy word I know) but because of the friendliness and warmth of the people I don't even think of the romance thing anymore. I'm really happy receiving nods, putting stuff on the forums and being a biker more & more. Within 3 weeks of joining I went to Margate & Whitstable with a few of the members and had such a lovely time. Hug

One of the members has put on his nod "...this is just a nod NOT a request for a date". I thought he was being paranoid but it seems he must have had the same experience as you.

Do persevere, it's worth it. This is primarily a bikers site, remember with so many people you're bound to get some at crossed purposes.Thumbs Up. Charlotte.
                                                                                                                                                                             
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oh yes, I forgot to mention, you will be abbreviated if and when you go into the chat room. lmao

                                                                                                                                                                             
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jinx57

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i find inebriated better than abbreviated ,to be honest...x                                                                                                                                                                             
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VFR800AJ

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Hi   To be fair, the people i have met in person off this site have all been really nice, just need to get yourself out there on some of the meets.   as a married family man, and also working 12 hour shifts on a 24 x 7 basis, i cant really do the rallies which restricts forging alliances .   On the road i do nod at all riders to the point you become a noddy dog at times, some acknowledge, some don't. I also try, when safe, to acknowledge cage drivers who move over to let me past.   But to go to your original point, i think a lot of the people on this site aren't paid up members therefore not having the ability to answer your messages anyway.   I'm coming up to the Leuchars air show in September, grab a coffee  with you if your around.   .and NO............ That's not an indication of ROMANTIC INTEREST mate   Clown   take care      AJ                                                                                                                                                                                 
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Sandi

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  ...It's certainly not to have fun chatting and getting to know other bikers but more likely that they're using the site as a potential dating arena     Erm..KX the site IS a dating arena, that's why it's called Biker MATCH.   It evolved into a social site because the members meet up in real time, not just chatting on here, and have made good friends.    To all   This topic has been covered a few times, I personally don't usually send nods (which used to be 'winks') and I don't think it's rude NOT to respond to them.   Personally, as I've said before, I can't see the point of a wink or a nod on line. It just causes confusion and bad feeling for some.   Newbies get a certain amount of free PMs (private messages) to use so why not just say 'Hi'? Just sending a nod leads to so many different assumptions, as to why it was sent, and for some 'bad feeling' when not responded to. A message leaves out the guess work.   Some folk may not reply to a nod for the same reason I don't respond to them, cos when I have, by just saying thanks it then leads to the sender thinking I want to keep correspondence going.   The trick is to not let it get to you when your nod doesn't get a response, it's not compulsory to respond to nods.   I reply to ALL messages sent to me and I do think it's rude not to reply to messages.     Anyway, I hope you meet up with some fellow members and enjoy your time here with us.                                                                                                                                                                                 
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VFR800AJ

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LOL   Doohhhhhhh Sandi   I can't send you a nod as it says i have already sent one    Thumbs Up     Handshake                                                                                                                                                                               
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Sandi

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  LOL ya wally LOL   That means when I ignore it you can't get upset LOL                                                                                                                                                                             
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VFR800AJ

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My Boss just asked what I'm PMSL at   -  cheers matey  Handshake                                                                                                                                                                              
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Sandi

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  <g> = giggles Evil Smile ha ha                                                                                                                                                                             
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rowanblossom

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Hi K6....see the abbreviation has stuck lol     I generally nod back to anyone who nods to me, and I nod to those local (North West).   I see it as being the same as nodding if I were passing you on the road.    I also reply to messages (albeit sometimes with a bit of a delay).   I take the whole nod thing as a social, hello and welcome thing and so far no misinterpretations.      Its what you make of it.   Don't get disheartened, some people can't nod, some people don't nod, others do.      To be fair I've even managed to nod to myself (still haven't worked that one out!) and I must admit I didn't reply LOL    RB                                                                                                                                                                                 
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VFR800AJ

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RB.............I see it as being the same as nodding if I were passing you on the road.     To be fair I've even managed to nod to myself (still haven't worked that one out!)     Did you nod to yourself while passing yourself on the road ???????   that would be a truly impressive piece of riding    Thumbs Up                                                                                                                                                                                 


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