I feel we need a new forum for jokes unless any one thinks otherwise so here goes. Birds and Bees A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.“Mother, where do babies come from?”The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”                                                                                                                                                                             

what women would do if they had a penis for a day 10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.9. Get a blow job.8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.1. Repeat number 9......                                                                                                                                                                             

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.8. See if they could finally do the splits.7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.1. Finally find that damned G-spot.                                                                                                                                                                             

  No offence, and I'm sure there will be others who will DISagree with me, but I can live without an over 18s forum, and it's not a closed forum, i.e. can be seen and read by under 18s                                                                                                                                                                              

Are there any under 18s on here ?   As for birds and bees; round where I stay it's usually £50, coke or an xbox as opposed to jewellery.                                                                                                                                                                             

 an xbox!!?? thats a pretty expensive ****job ! If you went to somewhere like Colchester it'd be something like 'Alright darlin' wanna drink & a lift to the bus stop?'     Any girls from this area I'm just kidding                                                                                                                                                                               

no its over-18s as per the T&Cs.   These are just common jokes found all over the internet kwak - dont worry!   The title was also a warning to anyone easily offended, cheers cbr   PS: If copying from other sites, your text will appear white.  To fix this, highlight all the text before posting it and change the font to black (Even tho it already appears black)                                                                                                                                                                             

Finding the G spot would be good every man should have a day practicing lol lmao                                                                                                                                                                              

i was gonna put mine somewhere safe so i would always know where it was but then thought oh no because I would forget where I had put it lol  totally tragic                                                                                                                                                                             

no i bloody wouldnt  once found never forgotten lmao                                                                                                                                                                              

I think this "G" spot thing is just a put on to brow beat blokes with.Ya tell us it's there and we can never find it. Like pregnancy pain. I think you just make that up as well. I've hit  me finger with a hammer before and that hurt a lot more than that would. How would we know if you were making it up. You've already owned up to orgasms. Just come clean and tell us it's all just a big lie. LMAO                                                                                                                                                                              

you wish lol   if you got go through childbirth you need compensation lol   and you got one too lol you just need to find it                                                                                                                                                                              

oh multiple orgasms by the way                                                                                                                                                                              

I agree with you EW. Us men need more practice at finding that elusive G spot. So..... all I need now is the OPPORTUNITY to practice.                                                                                                                                                                               

is that all u men think about?!                                                                                                                                                                              

Beats handbags and shoes!!                                                                                                                                                                              

LMAO well sod handbags and shoes show me a bike shop any day lol   lol daz re the practicing as well you seem like a nice boy I bet there will be plenty of young ladies on here that would be happy to let you practice with them   Lol RC isnt it what most of us think about  even at my age lmao                                                                                                                                                                              

dunno cause im such a good girl so i would'nt know                                                                                                                                                                               

ahhh oh nooooo!!!!! well so am I ask nel I just get drunk and fall over   My cover is well and truly blown now agaagaagagagagahhhh                                                                                                                                                                             

Hows about this ? >For his birthday Little Matt asked for a 10-speed bicycle.>>His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is >£300,000,>your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.">>The next day the father saw Little Matt heading out the front door with a >suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?">>>Little Matt told him,>>"I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mum you were >pulling out.>>>Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.>>>Well, I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £300,000 >mortgage and no fu**ing bike!"