A new sales assistant was hired at a large department store. On his first day, the sales manager took him around to show him the ropes. They were passing by the gardening section, when they heard a customer asking for grass seed. The sales manager stepped in. Sales manager: Excuse me, but will you be needing a hose to water your lawn?Customer : I guess so. I'll take one.Sales manager: And how about some fertilizer and weed-killer?Customer : Um, okay. Sales manager: Here's a couple of bags. You'll also need a lawn mower to cut the grass when it starts growing too long.Customer : I'll take one of those too. After the customer left, the sales manager turned to the assistant. "You see?" he said, "that's the way to make a good sale. Always sell more than what the customer originally came in for." Impressed, the assistant headed off for the pharmaceutical section, where he was to work. Soon, a man strolled in.Man: I'd like to buy a pack of Tampax, please.Sales assistant: Sure, and would you like to buy a lawn mower too?Man: Why would I want to do that?Sales assistant: Well, your weekend's shot to hell anyway, so you might as well mow the lawn.                                                                                                                                                                              

 pmsl                                                                                                                                                                             

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole.  This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life.  By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop.  The frog said, "Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes.  Bear, you go first."The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on.  The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine.  The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle.For the last wish the bear thought for a while and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that the bear was gay."                                                                                                                                                                             

you back on form td keep getting errors for the smileys ive not been banned have i                                                                                                                                                                              

you back on form td keep getting errors for the smileys ive not been banned have i                                                                                                                                                                              

No hun Unless you've done summat i don't know about yet!!   A biker has been in a small town in the Midwest for two weeks when he begins to miss his wife. After another two weeks, he just can't stand it anymore. He decides to visit a brothel in town.He goes up to the madam and says, "Here is a hundred dollars. Give me the worst blow job in the house." "But sir," says the madam, "For a hundred dollars, you don't have a settle for the worst blow job. As a matter of fact, you could get the best." "No, no," says the man, "you don't understand. I'm not horny, I'm homesick."