Applause?....or surely not, This poor lass's brain has gone to pot, I can only manage a rasp-berry, For her words of the momentary, Are making me cringe an awful lot.                                                                                                                                                                             

We'll be outdone at this rate!
Apparently according to Cate,
She visits elsewhere,
For the limericks there,
And this one's well out of date
                                                                                                                                                                             

forgot all about this thread, thought it had well n truly been put to bed, real glad it's been awoken, so please accept this lil token, of the crap running round in my head!                                                                                                                                                                             

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall     Humpty Dumpty had a great fall     The structure of the wall was incorrect     So he won a grand with Claims Direct.     It's Raining, It's Pouring.     Oh sh!t, it's Global Warming.     Jack and Jill went into town     To fetch some chips and sweeties.     He can't keep his heart rate down     And she's got diabetes.     Mary had a little skirt     with splits right up the sides     and everywhere that Mary went     the boys could see her thighs.     Mary had another skirt     'twas split right up the front     ...But she didn't wear that one often.     Mary had a little lamb     her father shot it dead.     Now it goes to school with her     between two chunks of bread.     Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.     Said Simple Simon to the pie man     'What have u got there?'     Said the pie man unto Simon     Pies you d!ckhead.     Mary had a little lamb     it ran into a pylon.     10,000 volts went up its @rse     and turned its wool to nylon.     Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie     kissed the girls and made them cry.     When the boys came out to play     he kissed them too cause he was gay.     Jack and Jill     went up the hill     to have a little fun.     Jill, the dill,     forgot her pill,     and now they have a son.     Jack and Jill     Went up the hill     And planned to do some kissing.     Jack made a pass     and grabbed her ass     Now two of his teeth are missing.     Mary had a little lamb     Its fleece was white and wispy.     Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease     And now it's black and crispy.                                                                                                                                                                             

Welcome to the thread Micksaway, Not got the hang of limericks, I must say. But your verses are rated Good, slightly dated. But gave me the biggest laugh of today.                                                                                                                                                                                

made me laugh too mick, not limericks, but still done the trick, have another go geez, you'll soon be writing them with ease, am impatient though, so please be quick!                                                                                                                                                                             

Only ever thought up one limerick for a lovely friend of mine may try again one day