Ok kwak, i will stop!   How are men and beer bottles alike?They're both empty from the neck up.   Why do woman fake orgasms?Because men fake foreplay!                                                                                                                                                                              

Lol kwak i could be the bad influence I am trying lol might have to remeber them bu heart as haveina few problems

Why do woman fake orgasms?Because men fake foreplay!  TD   this i like a lot                                                                                                                                                                              

di an earth ya both ahve had me splittin my sides wiv laughter, you bout as good as max an paddy !!!!!!!!   keep them goin pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee                                                                                                                                                                              

They're a flippin' double act storm                                                                                                                                                                              

Why are men like blenders?                           You need one, but you're not quite surewhy!                                                                                                                                                                             

Why are women so bad at parallel parking?  Because men keep telling themthat this...         |<---------------------->| is 8 inches.                                                                                                                                                                             

he said i dont know y you wear a bra you have nothing to put in it she said ... you wear pants don't you   He said shall we try swapping positions tonight she said... Thats a good idea you standby the ironing board while i lie on the sofa   Q What is the difference between government bonds and men? A Bonds mature   Q Why are married women heavier than single women? A Single women come home see whats in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see whats in the bed and go to the fridge  LMAO   Man says to god why did you make women so beautiful God says so you would love her But god says man why did u make her so dumb? god says ... so shewould love you (A bit of a double edged sword this one)                                                                                                                                                                                 

Why did God give men larger brains than dogs? So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.                                                                                                                                                                             

There are two blonde women and a Man on an island. One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each (you get the picture)...The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat." With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.The second blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I need jetski"With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first blonde.The genie looks enquiringly toward the Man, who with raised eyebrows, smiles and says," Just give me a million dollars, I'll take the bridge."                                                                                                                                                                             

Why did the dumb man snort Nutri-sweet? He thought it was diet coke.                                                                                                                                                                             

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again. So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." “POOF” The mirror swallows her. Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive." “POOF” The mirror swallows her. Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think. . . ." “POOF”                                                                                                                                                                             

A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver's license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver's license, he asks for registration. Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, "It's that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment." "Ah," she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer unzips his pants and pulls his member out.Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, "Oh, no! Not another breathalizer test!"                                                                                                                                                                             

Men are proof of reincarnation.You can't get that dumb in just one lifetime.                                                                                                                                                                             

What did God say after she made Eve?"Practice makes perfect."                                                                                                                                                                             

I like the last one bwb                                                                                                                                                                              

I once asked a blonde to put the light on so she went outside and opened the car door                                                                                                                                                                              

i cant keep up lol but sooo funny xxxxxs                                                                                                                                                                             

i cant keep up either ew hun lol