Roses are red nuts are brown
Skirts go up pants go down
Body to body; Skin to skin
When its stiff stick it in
It goes in dry and comes out wet
The longer its in, the stronger it gets
It comes out dripping and starts to sag
But its not what you think its a used tetleys tea bag

                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Roflmao.........hahahhaha , love it !!! x                                                                                                                                                                             

         
            
                    
                           
                                                                                                                                                                             

One day a man went to the supermarket to buy some boneless chicken breasts. At the store, however, he was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so he complained to the butcher lady.

"Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

A few minutes later, he heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the speaker: "Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

                                                

                                                                                                                                                                             

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."                                                                                                                                                                              

A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison." And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!" The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again. The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"                                                                                                                                                                              

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

                                                                                                                                                                             

WEATHER'S SURPRISE
____________________
written by Rod Hatter
April 30, 2010
Was off in the morning,
the sun it was bright.
Went for a long ride,
and stayed out til night.
The weather was so hot,
all week's was the best,
so didn't wear leathers,
just Levis and vest.
Stayed out in the sunshine,
and rode hard all day.
As darkness approached me,
I headed home's way.
The darker the day got,
the winds they did chill.
A cold front had moved in,
to mess up the deal.
Along came some moisture,
the wind turned to frost.
A good thing the roads warm,
to offset the cost.
The ride home was so long.
My teeth they did rattle.
My joints, they were aching.
It was quite the battle.
Had shivers and shakes,
for the last 20 miles.
I pulled in the driveway,
and let out a smile.
I put the bike up,
and went in for the warmth.
Got me a hot cup,
and sat by the hearth.
I looked back and grinned,
as I realized my luck.
Today's ride was good times...
I'm home for the tuck.
Just have to remember...
that I'm not a duck.



                                                                                                                                                                             

I believe in angels,
The kind that heaven sends,
I am surrounded by angels,
But I call them friends.                                                                                                                                                                              

This is for my mum 
You were my fairy tale princess,
So much larger than life.
You were my angel and my witness
Through all my pain and strife.
At times you made me angry,
Great words I would proclaim
How someday you’d be sorry.
You were the one to blame.
But when I needed comforting
You always found the time.
Your words were more soothing
Than days of childhood sublime.
Now the distance holds us apart,
The boundaries have no end.
I’ll hold the memories in my heart.
You’re my mother, my best friend

 ..Aww i love it BJP..x                                                                                                                                                                             

Hi Gj
my mother had a scan last wk then got sent straight to a specialist she has just been told shes got lung cancer and its not looking good
                                                                                                                                                                             

Mrs bjp, I am really sorry to hear such sad news. Will be thinking of your mum and you                                                                                                                                                                              

Thanks Mr Neale
 just cant stop the tears from flowing 
                                                                                                                                                                             

Sorry hunny ive only just seen your post, aww im so very sad about your Mum  ... thats exactly what happened to my adored and cherished Mum in ྘.......its heartbreaking isnt it hun...big hugs for all of you at this worrying time.                      xxxx