Tis just the trials and tribulations of providing security in charming little South London venues... Everyone thinks it's all drive-by shootings and glamour... but the reality is drive-by egg-peltings because you wouldn't let a bunch of lads wearing trainers into the pub   The spitting incident was even more delightful... a rather distressed young lady, who I was concerned about & trying to look after... she was in a state of extreme inebriation and terribly upset... it was kicking out time and all her friends had left... So there's me, doing the Auntie Lou bit and at least trying to sort her out with a taxi...   Until she announces that she wants to come home with me so I can introduce her to the delights of lesbianism. Who, me?   I politely declined, which she perceived as a great insult to her attractiveness, and promptly spat in my face  thus giving me the ideal excuse to forget the Auntie Lou bit and hoof her out the door, which my hysterically giggling colleagues kindly held open for me. *ahem*                                                                                                                                                                               

egghead!                                                                                                                                                                             

I certainly have,Nutty.   Come up and see me sometime.                                                                                                                                                                             

I hope your foot interacted with her posterier at great force Wannabe as she vacated the building..........                                                                                                                                                                             

Wannabe....bouncer....cleavage....kangeroo...   They're seems to be a theme developing....                                                                                                                                                                             

lol! I don't think her feet touched the ground, bless her!   We retired back to the bar and indulged in a nice glass of port, while I scrubbed like crazy at my face...   Then the head doorman called me on the way home to tell me "Oh! I've found yer girlfriend! She's sitting in the back of an ambulance!" I swear I didn't hurt her! lol   But I guess I'd initially been right to be concerned about her... silly little girls... they never learn... we had several incidents of suspected Rohypnol use in that place (one REALLY nasty one, which led me to complete paranoia, questioning women on their way out the door, to make sure they weren't out of it and leaving with someone about to rape them!) and we warned the girls every night, yet STILL they left their drinks unattended to go off and have a dance or whatever... silly silly silly.                                                                                                                                                                              

Ex-bouncer please, XY   I retired. All the eggs were making my hair flyaway and unmanageable                                                                                                                                                                              

Thank you for looking out for them, Wannabe xxx                                                                                                                                                                             

You can but try TC... sadly it seems there's a rarity of "common" sense these days... Ho hum...   Still, if even just one person listened to me and avoided a nasty incident for themselves, it was worth it                                                                                                                                                                              

Unfortunately you can take all the precautions and it can still happen. There are some very evil, but very clever people out there...   Unfortunately I was involved in the aftermath of such an incident and it did not turn out well.                                                                                                                                                                             

Anyway... we have wandered off topic...   I saw a chocolate !!!                                                                                                                                                                                 

True enough TC... the major incident we had with regard to that venue involved one of the nicest ladies around... middle-aged, just used to escape on a Friday night and enjoy a couple of glasses of wine and a bit of a dance with her friends... she was no airhead bimbo type... which, lets face it is probably why she was targetted... Ho hum... Some nasty folk out there right enough...

A chocolate what?

Starfish?! :-O

TC - I rather feel you are way too subtle for our poor, innocent, virtuous, naive,pure,"like a virgin",unknowing Wannabe.     Wannabe - it's a feckin CATERPILLAR!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

  **** chocolate starfish ****                                                                                                                                                                             

i think the obect of discusion certainly needs more fibre in its diet                                                                                                                                                                              

I think I need more of the object of discussion in my diet!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Aw, poor Scary!!     Well, a friend in need an' all that....   *rummages in trouser pocket*     Er... you were talking about chocolate, right?                                                                                                                                                                             

Depends ...have you  hole in your pocket?                                                                                                                                                                             

"There's a hole in my pocket, Dear Scary, Dear Scary, There's a hole in my pocket, Dear Scary a hole...."                                                                                                                                                                             

pity Pete didnt know about your craving!!![or did he?]