Not bike related and don't know if this is in the right topic:   what is your best cooking blunder?    -  I realise with the following I am exposing myself as to how much of a muppet I am but hey ho that's life!   When I was very much younger and got my first house (well OK it wasn't really that young!) my then boyfriends mum had given us some food so i took out the cabbage and boiled it to go with the chicken dinner - it seemed to shrink a lot in the pan and didn't taste too fab - was only a week later when she gave us some more that I realised I had boiled a lettuce! oops  well it's an easy mistake! isn't it?     Funny how family forget what you bought them for xmas or birthdays and stuff but always seem to remember stuff like that! never lived it down!                                                                                                                                                                             

  ROFPML  thanks for the laugh.   My 'cooking blunder' happened when I was first married, busy chatting to hubby I poured the gravy down the sink and kept the lumps.                                                                                                                                                                                   

Heinz treacle pudding ....boil in tin....forgot about it & pan boiled dry....Heinz treacle pudding morter shell blasts kitchen ceiling and kitchen covered in vast quantities of pulverised treacle sponge.   We were so lucky we were in the other room watching TV....the carnage would have made the national news if a human had been present                                                                                                                                                                              

I got home from work a little tired and decided to steam some fish and veg. I wrapped the salmon in tin foil with some herbs and added some veg. I thought about 10 to 15 mins to cook and I would have a nice healthy meal, so I sat down in the living room and watched the news. Anyway when I woke up I thought I was going blind, everything looked murky and misty. I reaslised and ran to the kitchen to find my steamer was glowing bright red through this dull smokey mist. I let it cool down while realising 2 hours had gone by. When I finally opened the steamer I found the tin foil and inside was this dust, cremated salmon and no sign of any veg. Luckily nothing else was damaged but my flat smelt of burnt fish for months despite washing everything including the walls, ceiling, curtains, furniture the lot, but it still smelt dreadful. Any visitors did not notice a smell but I did.   Take away was on the menu that night, much safer.                                                                                                                                                                             

PMS @ Minx... treacle mortars, cool, might have to try that one  me and bombs go well together.

I once served my ex still pink chicken...
Wasn't so much a blunder though as a reminder that a) if he wanted to eat before it was cooked - on his stomach be it (!!) and b) that I was his girlfriend not his chief cook and bottlewasher.   He told everyone about it and my defence was "well I told you it wasn't ready dear..."                                                                                                                                                                             

Del Boy's uncle scuppering the gravy boat...classic                                                                                                                                                                             

Having the toaster turned up to high and burning the toast :P                                                                                                                                                                              

Hey Chickflick I did exactly the same with a lettuce!  Didn't put it on my plate though cos I thought is was a funny looking cabbage lol.

First year of marriage, cooking the turkey on Xmas day, didn't remove the giblets packed neatly in the plastic bag!

An attempt at rice pudding, got the measurement wrong for the amount of rice, must of used about 4 pints of milk trying to soften the rice which I cooked for hours, in the end I threw it in the bin with the oven dish as I couldn't get the concrete (rice) out!

                                                                                                                                                                             

Not exactly a cooking blunder but another narrow dice with death or serious injury by food item   On our way home from family hols we booked in a hotel somewhere in the Rhone valley in France. We unpacked the overnight stuff including a bottle of perrier water which was bought somewhere in Switzerland.... at very high altitude.   we brought this bottle of perrier water down several thousand metres   Fortunately me, my ex-husband and my eldest daughter were all over the other side of the room when the damn thing exploded....and explode it did. We were stunned by the fizzing mess of glass shards and bubbles coating one end of the room. But what was really scary was the force that had embedded loads of glass shards into the wall paper.   Hmmmm never really though about how hazardous food items could be till this thread was started.....OMG, just remembered exploding home made ginger beer....I'm amazed legislation hasn't been brought in banning brewing of home made ginger beer!                                                                                                                                                                             

What I thought was Chinese cabbage was added to a stir fry once.

Warm, crispy lettuce is rank...                                                                                                                                                                             

  Minnie you are just accident prone lol, you're not related to Frank Spencer are ya?                                                                                                                                                                              

after tasting daftuns banana cake i got the recipe and decided to give it a go. made the mixture put it in a bread tin as instructed and popped it in the oven, job well done. after 20 min thought id take a peek. Oops bread tin too small and about 50% of the mixture was on the bottom of the oven lol and this was about 2 month ago haha                                                                                                                                                                               

Has to be the time I decided to do some baking made some little cakes and a large birthday cake had iced and decorated them. Only to find out later they werent cake at all but yorkshire puddings. Given up on the baking now lol :)                                                                                                                                                                              

Mel, I've known you for 20 odd years and I know you have your moments, but how the hell did you not notice you were decorating yorky puds; lol. And you were offering to cook me a curry the other day - thank god I said no. Probably end up with deep fried winalot with mashed rice; lol.
                                                                                                                                                                             

Well we all know how dipsy I am lol
                                                                                                                                                                             

Cooking related;

Me and an ex rented an old farmhouse with an oil-fired aga. Never had oil before, so no-one told me you had to depress a plunger on the tank to let the oil level read correctly.
It promptly ran out, of all times....   half way through cooking xmas dinner!!!!!  
What a day we had, going round friends houses and borrowing their stoves.
Certainly one to remember                                                                                                                                                                               

This ones a bit naughty

 was about 18 and had a drunken weekend at pontins with some freinds. One of the lads nicked some wheel trims and without telling us hid them in the oven ?

 returning to the chalet from a night out on the beer, i fancied a pizza so  switched the oven on to pre heat, lol melted plastic all over the oven. We made a hasty exit the following morning laffing all the way home lmto
                                                                                                                                                                             

Am loving these posts - at least I now know I'm not the only mishap with cooking or lack of cooking skills!  oh and glad to report that I cooked a Turkey Leg tonight and it was done to perfection if I say so myself - if you don't hear from me again after today it's possible that it wasn't actually cooked to perfection!   @Kwak                                                                                                                                                                               

chick was it bearnard mathews turkey drummer,should be fine  hun lol  x