Chinese Sex

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.”

The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.”

The doctor answers, “I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.”

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!”

The doctor replies, “Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.”

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.”

The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!”

“Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims.

“Yes”, says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two week. Faw off by itself!”

                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                             

I went on a business trip to China last month. The flight got in early, so I had an evening to kill. I found a bar near the hotel, and got chatting with witha nice young lady of negotiable affection.

One thing led to another and we ended up back in the hotel. We'd not been in the room long when there was a power cut and all the lights went out. That didn't seem to bother her, so we got down to business. "Kaki waki uke, kaki waki uki", she kept moaning. Obviously a useful phrase to remember.

Next morning, the business meeting went well and we were on the golf course for 10:00am. My host teed off on a par three and got a hole in one! "Oh, kaki waki uki", I said, smiling.

He looked at me and said, "what do you mean - it's in the wrong hole?"