Aries (March 21 - April 19) You will be accosted today by several of those people who think only of themselves, and who believe that "sharing" is something that little kids have to do. Despite this, I recommend against turning them over your knee and spanking them -- unless you think you can get away with it.   Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Although you will attempt to thwart your obsession (tying things up with twine) by avoiding twine for the entire day today, it will continue to plague your thoughts. In other words, you will not knot for naught.   Gemini (May 21 - June 20) To your vast embarrassment, you will be unable to describe the differences between halibut, sole, and flounder. It's easy to remember, though -- they are (in order) "big", "small", and "clumsy."   Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Good day to mumble.   Leo (July 23 - August 22) You may be drinking a little bit too much coffee lately. That could explain why everyone else is moving so slowly, or why they say "What was THAT!?" in a verrrrry slow, deep voice, every time you walk by.   Virgo (August 23 - September 22) Good day to begin writing that book you've been planning -- "Growing Radishes Indoors". It's an idea whose time has come.   Libra (September 23 - October 22) Today you'll try the old "goat in a box" trick, on your new boss. It'll backfire, though, and you'll be the one with the clown shoes.   Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) If you aren't careful, you may accidentally insult someone by a poor choice of words, and hurt their feelings. In particular, the expression "hideously deformed" may not be as neutral as you believe.   Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) At the same moment you read this, someone will be thinking about you and smiling. In a moment, they'll be laughing outright.   Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) You will be traumatized by an episode with a stapler, today. You will be unable to even look at a stapler for several weeks, without trembling.   Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) You've been finding that the best-laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Or is that awry? Awiggly? It's something along those lines. Anyway, the thing to do is to fire your mice.   Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You will become fascinated by the unlikely use of the same word to mean very different things. For example, what is the link between "seasons" as changes in the weather and "seasons" as in what you do to food? Or for that matter, why are Fall and Spring named for action verbs, and not Summer and Winter? Shouldn't those be called something like Wiggle and Shiver? Have a great day!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Awwww...poor mouse.....You're fired!!