We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules  from the male side. These are our rules: •Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. •  Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that 1. •  Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. •  Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be 1. •  Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. •  Crying is blackmail. 1. •  Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: •  Subtle hints do not work! •  Strong hints do not work! •  Obvious hints do not work! •  JUST SAY IT! 1. •  ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question 1. •  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for 1. •  A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor 1. •  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days 1. •  If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us 1. •  If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. •  You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done •  Not both •  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself 1. •  Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials 1. •  Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we 1. •  ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. •  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. •  We have no idea what mauve is. 1. •  If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. •  If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle 1. •  If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear 1. •  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really 1. •  Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: – Sex, – Sport, or – Cars 1. •  You have enough clothes 1. •  You have too many shoes 1. •  I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the  couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education                                                                                                                                                                                

Lol  Pricele4ss.

My fave:

•  Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
                                                                                                                                                                             

Mine too Dyna                                                                                                                                                                               

pmsl.. thats the best one ive seen yet jacko..   hey.. a big well done you for managing cut and paste lmao     my fav;   •  You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done •  Not both •  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself may i ask jacko.. are you colour blind.. change the darn colour so we can read what you post lol                                                                                                                                                                             

You are a cheeky bugga. It was b&w when I copied it. Not my fault the site turns things back to front, it maybe happens at the border wen you geordies get hold of it....lol xx                                                                                                                                                                              

lol.. u love me being cheeky... !!!     and i did nowt!!! divent blame me lol   x                                                                                                                                                                             

Assume the position, own up and appologize with your head respectfully bowed lmao                                                                                                                                                                               

lmao... just remember your place..   i shall remind you...............at least 5 paces behind your master!!!!   and yes.. i am your master !!!! lol                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                             

Dream on GL, wake up and smell the coffee which you are making for your superior male pal.                                                                                                                                                                              

lmao... jack   you woke up and spilt your cornflakes.. now tidy that mess up!!! or your grounded !!!                                                                                                                                                                             

Luv it on the ground but remember who is on the bottom.

Pop up cos the dishes need doin and the ironin too. wake me wen you arrive pmsl
                                                                                                                                                                             

lol jack.. youre going to pay dearly for this when i see you in a couple of weeks.. i have a bloody good memory me dears!!! (i may allow you to clean my dishes if youre a good boy) lol    pmsl @ pop up...                                                                                                                                                                               

Ye gotta catch me ol' yin and a kn run fast. Just orf to do me ironin, wimmen r too slow, catch you soon xxxx                                                                                                                                                                              

lol laters jack x                                                                                                                                                                             

And   If women really are capable of multitasking why can't they have sex with a headache??                                                                                                                                                                              

As G/L posted men should walk 5 paces behind them as you never know if the road has been mined                                                                                                                                                                              

LOL you guys really haven't sussed it, have you!!! we DONT have a headache... ;-p                                                                                                                                                                              

LOL jp.... Love it!!! Haha                                                                                                                                                                             

No, you are a HEADACHE