So I have typed it out for you to read.   These are transcripts of messages recieved by call centres and help desks.   customer: "I have been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"operator: "Where did you get the number from sir?"customer: "It was on the door"operator: "Sir, that is our opening hours." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [U][B]Samsung Electronics[/B][/U] caller: "Can you tell me the phone number for Jack?"operator: "I am sorry sir I don't understand who you are talking about"caller: "On page one section 5, of the user guide, it clearly stes that I need to unplug the fax machine from the socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.  Now could you tell me his number please." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [U][B]RAC Motoring Services[/B][/U] caller:  "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me to travel in Australia?"operator:  "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?" ****** caller:  "If I  register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [U][B]Directory Enquiries[/B][/U] caller:  "Can you tell me the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please?"operator:  "I am sorry there is no listing, is the spelling correct?"caller: "It used to be the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off." ****** caller:  " I am looking for the number of a clothing company in Woven."operator:  "Woven?  Are you sure?"caller:  "Yes, the label clearly states  Woven in Scotland." ******* On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing noises to the worried operator told her "I havent got a pen so I am steaming up the window to write on." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [U][B]Technical support[/B][/U] Tech support:  "Now I need you to right click on the Open Desktop"customer: "OK"Tech support: "Did you get the pop-up menu?"customer:  "No"Tech support:  "Right click again.  Do you see the menu this time?"customer: "No"Tech support:  "Ok sir can you tell me what you have done so far?"customer:  "Sure, you told me to write click so I wrote click." ******Tech support:  "Ok, now  in the botom left hand corner of the screen the  'OK' button is displayed."customer: "Wow, how can you see my screen from there?" ******customer: " I deleted a file from my computer last week and now I need it again.  If I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I have my file back again?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------[B]Finally there is always one.  This is one of the funniest things in ages. This guy should have got a promotion, instead he was sacked (but is sueing for wrongful dismissal apparently)  It is from the "Word Perfect Helpline"[/B] op: "Richard Hall, computer assistance How may I help?"cust: "I am having trouble with Word Perfect."op: "What sort of trouble?"cust: "I was typing along and suddenly the words went away."op: "Went away?"cust: "They disappeared"op: "Hmmm what does the screen look like now?"cust: "Nothing"op: "Has it restarted in MS-DOS mode?"cust "How do I tell?"op: "Can you see the C prompt on the screen?"cust: "What's a sea - prompt?"op:  "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"cust: "There isn't any cursor, I told you it wont accept anything I type."op:  "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"cust:  "What's a monitor?"op:   "It is the thing with the screen that looks like a tv.  Does it have a little light that tells you when it is on?"cust:  "I dont know"op:  "Well then, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see it?"cust: "Yes I think so."op:  ""Follow it to the wall socket.  Is it plugged in?"cust:  "Yes it is."op:  "While you were there did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it and not just one?"cust:  "No"op:  ""Well there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."cust: "OK here it is."op:  "Follow it for me and tellme if it is plugged into the back of the computer."cust:  "I cant reach"op:  Uh huh. Can you see if it is?"cust:  "No"op:  "Even if you put your knee on something and lean over?"cust: "No. it is not because I have the wrong angle, it is because it is too dark."op:  "Dark?"cust:  "Yes the office light is off and the only light I have is from the window."op:  "Well turn the light on then."cust:  "I can't."op:  "No?  Why not?"cust:  "Because there is a power failure."op:  A power........A power failure? Aha.  Well we've got it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and packaging it came in?"cust: "Yes, I keep them in the closet."op:  "Good, go get them, unplug the system and pack it away just like it was when you bought it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from."cust:  "Really?  Is it that bad?"op:  "Yes I am afraid it is."cust:  "Well alright then, I suppose.  What shall I tell them?"op:  "Tell them you are too f***ing stupid to own a computer."                                                                                                                                                                               

I just Looooooooove the last one                                                                                                                                                                              

that last one - the operator got the sack for that !!!                                                                                                                                                                              

might be because of the eff word                                                                                                                                                                              

thats right but come on we all get fed up at times a warning would have sufficed                                                                                                                                                                              

not when there's customers concerned. gross misconduct cos otherwise i'd have already been down that route for a warning                                                                                                                                                                              

  there gud rube                                                                                                                                                                             

brilliant LOL                                                                                                                                                                               

big lol rube                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Nice one Rube mate                                                                                                                                                                               

hi di like your new pic, wish i cud av come with ya, maybe next time, av fun                                                                                                                                                                             

yes i,m going next time , were they going?   dont realy matter                                                                                                                                                                              

i want to go on the wheel thingy in london, but think i will have to settle for the cable car thingys at matlock bath !!!! promised son will take him on in summer  scared of heights thiough so will have jelly legs when i get off !!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                   

yep u can deffo go on them on ya own storm lol   i get jelly legs even think about it