Well, here I am, the new inmate on the funnyfarm bench.   I've read your posts, and in my amateur opinion You're all as mad as a box of frogs. Which suits me just fine, (rrrribit, rrrribit).   So, budge-up and make some room for me and my Boxer, or I'll just sit here rocking backwards and forwards whilst keening, "Volvo S40" over and over and over and............                                                                                                                                                                             

Welcome, take a seat, peruse the selection of magazines on the coffee table while you wait. Someone will be in shortly to measure you for your straight jacket.                                                                                                                                                                             

and book u in 4 ur therapy session! x                                                                                                                                                                             

i new i forgot do book summet pmsl                                                                                                                                                                              

right chest size errrr large   left arm as long as the finger tips   right arm as short as the nails on finger tips   shoulder to waist  as long as the waist band on the jeans   six buckles down the back   wrap around arms and scoop neck     yep got all those down your jacket is tailor made and will be with you in a few hours.... depends how fast the hampster runs round his wheel to drive the sewing machine   please take a seat in the brilliant white padded area, no drinks will be provided only from a sippy cup, no food fags or booze allowed untill the jacket is fitted   welcome to the sane house red                                                                                                                                                                                

well hello new peeps i missed so much already anything i shud know i one nosey bitch lol                                                                                                                                                                             

Welcome redreynard, i know where they had the getting out keys                                                                                                                                                                             

Well, thank you all for your welcome. It's nice to be here, although I do feel that this jacket could be a wee bit snugger at the waist, darts are so in this year.   Aaargh! Who's copy of '4X4 Monthly is this on the table. Ooo errr, I feel a bit faint.   I think I'll just sit here for a while Diane, thanks for the offer, if I feel I need the keys I'll let you know,ok.   Now, any chance of a Bishops Finger?                                                                                                                                                                             

Errrr, get ya own Bishops Finger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We'll have none of that on here Mr                                                                                                                                                                              

soz about the jacket the bloody hamster went on strike so couldnt do the darts !!!!!!   when hes up for a jog we will put a few in it do ya want tulip sleeves as well cos they so in this year too ????   cant get the staff these day ya know, wont do owt for a handfull full of seed !!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

The hampster WHAT!!!!   Bring in the Tabby from the secure unit. That'll soon get the little sod moving   Tulips! Oh dear I think you may have been on the bench for a little longer than is good for you......   Roccoco, dear, Roccoco, and no more than 3/4 length. Tulips indeed, (harummph).   Ou est votre elegance sartoriale?                                                                                                                                                                             

I don't think storm's elegance has ever been formal, odd maybe but not formal                                                                                                                                                                               

your getting to storm to well di hun pmsl                                                                                                                                                                             

Oh God! No one mentioned formal wear.   Where am I supposed to find a cummerbund to match this canvass.......and as for the straps, just don't even get me started                                                                                                                                                                             

Do you ever get those moments you wish you hadn't started something                                                                                                                                                                              

Quoting redraynard "Ou est votre elegance sartoriale?" (Or is your elegance satorial?)   So you mentioned formal, you haven't taken ya meds again have ya? You know wot the doctor said would happen if ya didn't!!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                 

my style is al dente quite unique and on a single mums buget need i say more !!!!!!!!!!!!!!   an heres me thinkin you was swearing at me in french, and there you are complementing me on my style !!!!!!!!!!!   errrr i think au revoir                                                                                                                                                                             

You sound like my favourite pasta; slightly al-dente and knocked up on a budget yummy                                                                                                                                                                             

storm!!!! knocked up!!!!!! she never said a word!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                             

errr not sure how to take "knocked up" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    i think fashioned with tender care and shopping in the reeduced section or end of season sale would be better !!!!!!!!!!!!!  pasta cool my fave dish !!!!!!!!!!