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the PM's new directive
tangoman60
In: Weymouth
Posts: 3862
Subject: THE PM's NEW DIRECTIVE
10 Downing StreetLondon SW1 Dear People of the United KingdomDue to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 40 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.Sincerely,Gordon Brown
10 Downing StreetLondon SW1 Dear People of the United KingdomDue to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 40 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.Sincerely,Gordon Brown
Message posted by
tangoman60
on 04 July 2009
at 09:41
tangoman60
@ 04/07/2009 09:41:06
tangoman60
@ 04/07/2009 09:41:06
chunkichick
In: Cowling
Posts: 494
i thin Kaz beat you to this one TM while you were away but it's still funny
Message posted by
chunkichick
on 04 July 2009
at 09:55
chunkichick
@ 04/07/2009 09:55:27
chunkichick
@ 04/07/2009 09:55:27
tangoman60
In: Weymouth
Posts: 3862
Message posted by
tangoman60
on 04 July 2009
at 09:58
tangoman60
@ 04/07/2009 09:58:32
tangoman60
@ 04/07/2009 09:58:32
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