A man walked into a Drs office and the receptionist asked him what he had.He replied," I got Shingles." She said ,"Fill out this form and supply your name,address,medical insurance number.when you're done,please take a seat." Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he'd got.He said ," I got Shingles." Soshe down his weight,height,and complet medical history,then said, " Change into this gown and wait in the examination room." A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.He said,"I got Shingles." So,she gave him a blood test,a blood pressure check,an electrocardoigram and told him to wait for the doctor.An hour later the doctor  came in  and asked him what he had got.H e said," Shingles." The doctor gave him a full examination ,and then said,"I just checked you out thoroughly  ,and I can't find shingles anywhere." The man replied,"They're outside in the truck.Where do you want them?."

A doctor is addressing a crowd at a conference
What we put into our stomachs can be enough to kill us he declares
Red meat
Soft drinks
Fatty foods
all can be disastrous
But there's something even worse. Can anyone tell me which food causes the most grief for years after eating it??
A 75 year old woman in the front row raises her hand and answers!
Wedding Cake

Have you noticed ice-cream vans and condoms have similar slogans?
The ice cream van slogan is...Stop me and Buy one
The condom slogan is....Buy me and Stop one                                                                                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                                                                             

A flat chested woman goes to Dr Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts.He tells her: "Everyday after your shower, rub your chest and say 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies'."She does this for several months and it works - she grows terrific D-cup boobs.One morning she gets on the bus and suddenly realises she has forgotten her morning ritual. So she stands in the aisle, closes her eyes and says: "Scooby doobie doobies. I want bigger boobies."A guy looks at her says: "Are you a patient of Dr Smith?" She says "Yes, how did you know?"He winks and whispers: "Hickory dickory dock......................................"