Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car.They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the bonnet of the car and hisses through the windscreen..'Quick, quick!' shouts Sister Catherine. 'What shall we do? 'Turn the wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,' says Sister Helen.Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns...'What shall I do now?' she shouts.'Switch on the windscreen washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican ,' says Sister Helen.Sister Catherine turns on the windscreen washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.'Now what?' shouts Sister Catherine.'Show him your cross,' says Sister Helen.'Now you're talking,' says Sister Catherine......She opens the window and shouts, 'OY....GET THE F**K OFF THIS CAR!!!!'......                                                                                                                                                                              

I kno this ones old....but still made me laugh...   Nun in the bath when she hears a knock on the door"who is it?""The blind man""Oh that's okay , come in"Man walks in checks the nun out and says"Nice tits, where do you want the blind"                                                                                                                                                                                 

Been laying off the carrots Catey?   Two Irish nuns were sitting on a park bench, the day after they arrived in the U.S. for the first time. One says to the other, "Sister Mary, I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," Sister Margaret replies, "But if we're going to be here for a year, we might as well do as the Americans do." As the two nuns enjoy the sights and sounds, they hear a vendor yell "Get your dogs here," and so they both walk towards the hot dog cart. "Two dogs, please!" says Sister Margaret. The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'. The Sister Mary is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans to Sister Margaret and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"