Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1.  Cashtration (n.):  The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
....
2. Ignoranus:  A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
........
3. Intaxicaton:  Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which last until
you realize it was your money to start with.
.....
4. Reintarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
......
5. Bozone (n):  The substance surrounding stupid people tha stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
......
6. Foreploy:  Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
......
7. Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
......
8. Sarchasm:  The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
......
9. Inoculatte:  To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
.....
10. Osteopornosis:  A degenerate disease.  (This one got extra
credit.)
.....
11. Karmageddon:  It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
......
12. Decafalon (n):  The gruelling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
........
13. Glibido:  All talk and no action.
.....
14. Dopeler Effect:  The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
......
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
.......
16. Beelzebug (n):  Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
.....
17. Caterpallor (n):  The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.
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Excellent I like no.11 the best.                                                                                                                                                                             

love no 11 to...its like Neil from The Young Ones is in ya head saying it hehehe                                                                                                                                                                             

Boomshanka!
                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                             

Hi Lou,

that's great, brightened up my otherwise dreary day, I don't buy into the idea that we can see the colour of peoples aura, but I think I can already spot a bozone layer on someone in no time at all.

 
                                                                                                                                                                             

ace!...........made a serious attempt at number 15 just this morning!lol.........................

For God's sake woman go back to work.                                                                                                                                                                              

I can barely get a word in edgeways round these chatty parts, Ricdude - I'll be glad to get back to work for a little peace & quiet 

                                                                                                                                                                             

Bloody hell!!!! Wannabe out-talked!!

Maybe the Pope isn't a Catholic after all.
                                                                                                                                                                             

Excellent.....nice one WB                                                                                                                                                                             

Bloody hell!!!! Wannabe out-talked!!

Now, now Wills...You're taking off on a flight of fancy there methinks!
                                                                                                                                                                             

No 9....intravenous coffee   *cue Homer style Mmmmmmmmmmm!*                                                                                                                                                                             

lol @ Ricdude!...........you love her really:o)...............   Footie on telly on saturday geez, so i wont disturb you!;o).hehe!                                                                                                                                                                             

Arachnoleptic fit!!... Oh I've had many of those, it's the legs you see.... there's too many of em ......errrrrm the spiders i mean, not mine, i've still just got the two  ( looks down to check ), yes, two is all it takes to get around surely... I mean 8!!!! really... that's overkill...it's so not necessary!,and so stressful to look at!

Football on the telly Arf? I'd rather stick knifes in the side of my head that watch that crap. But you know that anyway.                                                                                                                                                                             

hehe!.know it well geez:o)....................sure you aint really a closet fan?!........sat there with yer fav teams scarf round yer neck!........jumpin up n down n shouting for joy when they score!lol..............

And a variation   Remove the first letter of a word and redefine it   Amished: Hungering for a simpler way of life.Assover: Any holiday dinner attended by an unwanted relative.Egotiation: An I for an I.Etard: A person who always clicks "Reply to All" on an e-mail only needed by the original sender.Iarrhea: Running on about oneself.Ickpocket: A place to put used Kleenex.Ompadre: A Buddhist priest.Ouch-and-go: A house call by a dominatrix.Pectacular: Endowed with an unbelievable chest.Rankfurter: A hot dog from a rally van.Riminal: A man who doesn't clean up his toilet dribble.Carification - ritual designs cut into the landscape by automobiles and roads ( One for TC)Lutocracy - rule or power of the music or the musicalEmoval - dumping unwanted files onto the internet rather than into the trash binlessed - what one is when the Holy Spirit has taken away gracelement - to grieve the loss of something fundamentalerpes  - sexually transmitted dypepsiaecaffeinated - getting a buzz from being online                                                                                                                                                                               

And More   Updated definitions of words   Abdicate   (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent (alt usage) absence of Viagra Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. Bustard  (n.), a very rude bus driver. Coffee     (n.), a person who is coughed upon. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline popular on this forum Testicle       (n.), a humorous question on an exam. Rectitude    (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.                                                                                                                                                                               

Arf,your wierd.