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5 Posts | Latest reply on 17/07/2008 04:37:21 by Nutkin68 | Go to original / last post
Wannabe's Profile
Wannabe

In: Dartford
Posts: 4922
0% Karma0% Karma 0% Karma0% Karma

1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.' (The Daily Telegraph) 2) Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting a whole salami. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News) 3) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian) 4) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'. (The Times) 5) At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express) 6) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. 'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'' ( Bournemouth Evening Echo)    Big smile                                                                                                                                                                             
Sandi's Profile
Sandi

In: Huddersfield, W
Posts: 17948
92% Karma92% Karma 92% Karma92% Karma

  LOL                                                                                                                                                                              
tj.zx6r's Profile
tj.zx6r

In: south croydon
Posts: 56
0% Karma0% Karma 0% Karma0% Karma

the news articals are brain numbing especially the police one those who couldnt find their bums with both handsThumbs Up                                                                                                                                                                             
Wannabe's Profile
Wannabe

In: Dartford
Posts: 4922
0% Karma0% Karma 0% Karma0% Karma

I think number 4's my favourite... It's a quintessentially British understatement - and you know it had to have been said with a completely straight face ;o)                                                                                                                                                                             
Nutkin68's Profile
Nutkin68

In: Hull
Posts: 4203
0% Karma0% Karma 0% Karma0% Karma

I like number 2 and especially number 5 LOL                                                                                                                                                                                 


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